What We Had: A Selection Fanfiction

p r o l o g u e

IF YOU'VE READ THE ONE JUST SCROLL DOWN THIS IS AN EXCERPT
I turned and scanned the faces of the Selected again, and this time my eyes landed on Celeste. I could see the clear question in her eyes: What are you so worried about? I gave her a minuscule shake of my head, letting her know that I'd lost. She sent me a thin smile and mouthed the words It'll be okay. I nodded, and I tried to believe her. She turned away, laughing at something someone said; and I finally looked to my right, taking in the face of the guard stationed closest to our table.
Aspen was distracted though. He was looking around the room like so many of the other men in uniform, but he seemed to be trying to think of something. It was as if he was doing a puzzle in his head. I wished he would look my way, maybe try to explain wordlessly what he was worried about, but he didn't.
"Trying to arrange a time to meet later?" Maxon asked, and I whipped my head back.
"No, of course not."
"It's not like it matters. Kriss's family will be here this afternoon for a small celebration, and yours will be here "take you home. They don't like for the last loser to be alone. She tends to get dramatic."
He was so cold, so distant. It was as if it wasn't even Maxon at all.
"You can keep that house if you want. It's been paid for. I'd like my letters back though."
"I read them," I whispered. "I loved them."
He huffed as if it was a joke. "Don't know what I was thinking."
"Please don't do this. Please. I love you." My face was crumpling.
"Don't. You. Dare," Maxon ordered through gritted teeth. "You put on a smile, and you wear it to the last second."
I blinked away the tears and gave a weak smile.
"That'll do. Don't let that slip until you leave the room, do you understand?" I nodded. He looked into my eyes. "I'll be glad when you're gone."
After he spat out those last words, his smile returned and he faced Kriss again. I stared into my lap a minute, slowing my breathing and putting on a brave face.
(Excerpt from The One by Kiera Cass)
I sat and waited for what seemed to be an eternity before Gavriel finally made his announcement,

"Ladies and gentlemen, today we will witness the choosing of Illea's next queen,"

I choked as he spoke, but luckily nobody seemed to notice,

"The Crown Prince Maxon Schreave of Illea will make his decision between these two beautiful ladies."

I wanted to disappear as Gavriel continued to speak about Maxon; it didn't seem real, tomorrow-or just hours, or even minutes from now- I will be alone, I will never have him in my life again, and it's entirely my own fault.

I had to stop the thought, I had to refocus myself.

I was beginning to cry again, I held back the tears as much as I could, and without drawing too much attention to myself I moved my hand up to wipe a couple away.

Maxon shot me a cold glance and I shut my eyes, no longer wanting to see him or anything else. Don't be that girl America, keep your eyes up, keep yourself strong. What a joke, I'm not strong, I'm nothing. Nothing without him. Pathetic.

Gavriel was finishing and at last I heard him say,

"and so give it up for Maxon Schreave." I shivered.

Maxon stood up and gave a short speech about what an honor it was to be here and to be serving his people. He gave a quick bow before spinning around to face Kriss and me.

He played his part perfectly, he was the kind, courteous, charming prince, and I held my head high, not entirely sure if the audience and royal family could tell that I'd been crying. I glanced at Celeste who gave me a reassuring nod and ever so slowly I turned back to Maxon.

He was staring at me, cinnamon swirled eyes, but the second I faced him his gaze turned to ice. I hated this. I hated everything. I wanted to yell, and scream, and cry, and curse this horrid place. I wanted to be anywhere but here.

It was time, Maxon closed his eyes momentarily, and inhaled, then the prince slowly retracted himself on to one knee. He wouldn't face me, he wouldn't even look at me.

Please no, please come back to me, I thought desperately. Pathetic.

But he was gone, and he was choosing Kriss. I remembered suddenly to force myself into a smile and did so not caring if everyone had seen my panicking.

I watched as he pulled a small gray velvet box from his pocket.

After a long silence Maxon said, "Kriss Ambers," although I knew he was choosing Kriss, I felt my heart stop and suddenly I couldn't breathe, "would you do me the great honor of taking my hand in marriage, and serving our country as the next queen of Illea?"

I closed my eyes for a moment, I couldn't watch this, I wanted vomit. I looked around the room for a distraction, my eyes landed on Celeste, who I could tell was crying, and watched her smile at me, just as if to say "it's okay" which was exactly what I needed to hear. Even though this situation was anything but okay.

I took a quick glance at Kriss who was gleefully grinning down at Maxon.

"I will, I love you Maxon Schreave," she replied.

I need to go.

Now.

I did my best to smile and to tune out the next ten minutes of the ceremony, I didn't allow myself to so much as look at Maxon.

There were speeches and afterward there was champagne for guests, but I couldn't stay any longer. Even for champagne. I needed to get away from everyone, not just Maxon, but right now I didn't want to see anyone, not Celeste, or Marlee, not even my family.

I fled the room as politely as possible before throwing up in the nearest bathroom. I stayed locked in there for a good twenty minutes crying before even daring to leave. And when I finally did leave I was careful to avoid anyone. And that was the worst day of my life.

Author's Note: Okay guys, please comment what you thought. This is my first Fanfiction and I should be updating the first real chapter soon! I had so much fun working on this and should update regularly! Also most chapters will be longer than this, but I didn't want to spend much time on the prologue❤️❤️ With love, (: