Stephew Oneshots.

A Writer's GTLive

To an onlooker, all they would see would be a young woman sitting at a computer. However, those who knew me, they would know that I was writing and would leave me in peace. I was typing away with my headphones firmly on my ears. Music filtered into my ears, beats and rhythms that only I could hear. The clacking of my fingers on the keyboard was all that could be heard by anyone walking past. I sat at my desk, occasionally shifting my sitting position to stay comfortable.

Flexing my fingers, I stared at the screen in front of me. The basic structure of my story sat in front of me, almost taunting me. This idea had been floating around in my head for months but I had never had the guts to go through with it before. However, I had suggested it on Twitter and my friends had responded positively. So, I was going to go with it. Most of my writing pieces were a result of the endless encouragement and support that the community provided me with. From sad tales to cute moments, I threw myself into producing the best content possible.

Taking a sip of my drink, I struggled to find my productivity. I always said that I had a "mojo" – that when I got into this "mojo", I wrote my best work. However, finding that "mojo" was incredibly difficult and often it led to weeks of writer's block if I pushed too hard. Pushing my fringe out of my face, I switched over to my writing playlist of music and grinned as the familiar tunes played from my headphones.

Time didn't exist to me for the next few hours. Every so often, I would stop typing to grab another drink or to ponder an idea. The rest of the time, my fingers flew across the keyboard – making my idea a reality, weaving a tale of love and joy. Sure, I would throw in a little hardship every so often but never unnecessarily. No matter what the story, I always tried to be realistic. The characters in my stories weren't taken from my imagination, they were real people. Matthew and Stephanie was a real couple, with their own hopes and dreams. Creative licence gave me some leeway to twist things the direction that I wanted but I always tried to stay true to how they would genuinely behave and react.

I was often asked why I wrote angst. The majority of my work was cute or had a little bit of angst in it but occasionally I would write a very sad tale. People often questioned why I would do that to the two people that I had such high respect and adoration from. I had a simple answer for them. Sure, I could write cute stories all the time and I respected that some people weren't a fan of angst. However, I also knew first hand that the world wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. Small hardships and big, they all had a big impact on ourselves and on our relationships. Matthew and Stephanie were the best couple that I knew, yet even they had been through hardship to get to where they were today. People often forget what had brought them to their current state in life.

Soon, I had reached the dialogue heavy section of the story. This tended to be my weak point as I constantly doubted whether Matthew and Stephanie would actually say what I had scripted. I opened up a recent GTLive stream, skimming through familiar sections of it and just listening to the way that the two of them conversed. They bounced ideas off of one another, trading puns and supporting one another whenever the game or the conversation veered into harder topics. A soft smile crept up the side of my face as I watched them, the genuine love they held for one another visible for all to see. Switching back to my word document, I edited the lines slightly – satisfied that what I had written was relatively accurate to what they would actually say.

My phone lit up next to me, indicating that I had received a notification. Unsure whether it was one of my parents summoning me, I decided to check it. It was a Wattpad notification. Opening it, I saw that several of my favourite GTLive fan fictions had been updated. Saving my story, I started to catch up on all the stories I had fallen behind on. For the next hour, I lost myself in the tales weaved by my friends. They were phenomenal, full of vivid imagery and exciting plot lines. They tugged at my heartstrings and brought a smile to my face. It was an emotional rollercoaster that I loved being dragged on and gave me a closer understanding of what my readers often spoke of when describing my work.

Soon, I ran out of stories to read and had to return to my work. Sighing, I put my phone away and turned back to the word processor that was open in front of me. The story I was so proud of seemed much less impressive now. Scolding myself, I tried to continue writing. It didn't work. All I could think about in that moment was how bad my story was in comparison to those that I loved to read. My friends were so talented and I wasn't. No. No, I couldn't think like that. People loved my work; they believed in me and supported me from one story to the next. I couldn't compare myself to others because they weren't me. My stories were unique, a combination of my writing capabilities and my emotions.

When writers talk about pouring their heart and soul into their work, they aren't exaggerating. No matter the mood I was in when I started writing, I could use those emotions as fuel to produce my best work. The writing was a method of venting to me, a way to work through whatever was troubling me. Despite it being a vent for me, I was constantly amazed by the different conclusions and messages that my readers took from my work. I never intended some of them but they found them all the same, using those conclusions to drive themselves forward in life.

Muting my music, I put the GTLive stream back on, flooding my mind with the people I was writing about instead of the doubt and self-loathing that I was battling. I watched the stream, allowing my fingers to write in the background – filling in weaker sections of the story and deleting bits that didn't fit anymore. Laughing at a silly moment, I filtered the rest of the world out, just enjoying living in that moment. An hour and a half of the GTLive crew. These were the people I was writing about. No matter what I wrote, whether it was fluff or angst – they would always still be there.

Too quickly, the stream had drawn to an end. The replay button on my screen taunted me, a reminder that the stream was over – there would never be another exactly like it. The streams were all different. They managed to inspire art and story ideas that I would never think of in a million years. Two people on a sofa playing video games together had managed to draw together a community and create unlikely friendships. Sure, I had watched the GTLive streams since they started but I had never moved over to Twitter. I had just remained a silent watcher, enjoying the moments alone in my bedroom late at night.

Six months ago, I had taken the step to join the GTLive community on Twitter and it was one of the best decisions I had made. There was little to no drama, only constant support and love for one another – inside jokes and GTLive themed memes bringing joy to all who read them. Before joining the community, my faith in my writing abilities had been fading fast. Little support and response mixed with self-loathing and doubt had led me to consider giving up writing entirely. Yet, after reading some amazing stories created by members of the GTLive crew, I decided to take a leap into the unknown. These people didn't know me or my work, so maybe if they liked it, it'd be a sign that I shouldn't give up. They adored it, with dozens of supportive comments bringing me to the edge of tears as I read them.

So here I was, six months later and my writing had improved faster than ever before. Constant feedback and ideas for improvements had encouraged me to believe in myself and to try techniques and genres I'd never attempted in the past. I had grown as a person and a writer because of the community and because of GTLive.

I don't know where I'd be now without the streams and without you all who are reading this right now. You, the readers, are the main reason I keep writing. Your love for everything that I do, gives me a reason to keep writing, to keep trying. There have been dark nights that I've pondered deleting my works but then I go back and read the comments, the messages and the tweets – all of the positivity aimed towards me and everything I do.

Thank you.

A/N

Breaking the 4th wall a bit this week but I thought it was an interesting idea. 

Everything written in this story is completely true. It kind of sums up some of my evenings that I spend writing for you guys.

I also wanted to thank you all so much for 5,000 reads! That's an incredible amount and no matter whether you found my stories by accident or you follow my work religiously, I would not be the writer I am today without your support. May you find the happiness you seek <3

Next up is a Stephew AU, followed by an extremely fluffy story.

Look forward to them!

Much love,

Caitlin