It's Been So Long: A Grayson Dolan Fanfic

Why Does It Hurt?

As I walked into their living room, I smell the familiar cologne that only I know Grayson would wear. My breath hitched as step into my second home. Grayson gestures for me to sit on the couch and it brings back too many good memories. It would be hard to pick just one. I look around and things have mostly stayed the same. The only real addition I see is their 4 surfboards they won at the Teen Choice Awards, leaning on the wall. He already made himself cozy and was facing towards me, his hand supporting his head while his elbow was digging into the couch. One of his legs was up and I could make out the tattoos I already knew he had on his ankles and feet but I saw a little sliver of a sunset circle type tat that was on his thigh. Guess it was a new addition along with the tat on his heal, declaring his love for Ethan.

I avoid bringing my eyes up to Grayson's. I can feel his warm, hazel brown eyes on me, looking into my soul and seeing how I was feeling. I quickly look up to see him waiting impatiently as to why I'm here. I don't know really where to start so I quickly clear my throat, trying to gather my thoughts before I begin, "Uh, hi. I know it's probably really awkward to see me here but I wanted to apologize for my behavior," my throat catches and I hesitate as I continue, "I never meant the things that I said to you guys. I know you guys work extremely hard. Probably harder than most guys your age," I gesture to the Teen Choice Awards as I continue, "I saw you guys accepting the awards and I was incredibly proud. Even though I tried so hard to not think about you guys, about you, about us, it seemed like you guys had taken over the Internet and all I could see was well, you," I feel tears brim my eyes but I blink them back and says, "I was really, really, really hurt by your actions when you left. I thought we had something. Something good. And my best friends left. Without a word, without a call, without a sound. I was crying for weeks and weeks. I thought we had something," I say as I gestured between him and myself, "Do you know how hard it is to see your two best friends who left you in the dust. Especially if one of them you really liked. I, however, shouldn't have allowed my anger or harbored feelings take control of my words and actions. You guys are amazing people and success has found you in the best way. I'm truly so happy for you guys and I don't want to rein on that so that's kinda what I had to say and for the sake of our past friendship plus maturity, I hope you and you brother find it in your hearts to forgive me. I'll walk myself out," I choke back by tears but this time it was hard to prevent them from falling down. They continued to fall and fall. My mascara was probably dripping down along with my eye liner. I look down in my lap before leaving for the front door. I am gently pulled back by a strong pair of arms grabbing my hips. I meet Gray's face, looking like a horrible mess. I'm about to brush away the tears when we does so himself, swiping each tear away with his thumb. He looks at me and them pulls me in for a hug. His head rested on mine and I buried myself in the crook of his neck. He smelled of his familiar scent.

He pulled away and then he started to speak, "I've forgiven you. I forgave you a week ago. I was just," he stops a moment, trying to recollect his thoughts, "I was just nervous to see you again. I mean we started something and I packed up and left you heartbroken. I shattered your heart into a million pieces. I left the best thing I had here without a word, you were right about that. I knew you were going to be mad but that outburst was something I wasn't expecting but you were right. 100% right. We were getting tv deals and rising to stardom and I left the person I care the most about crying and suffering. For that I'm sorry." He takes a deep breath and pulls me away, "I can't do this though. I know we both wanted to start something and I really want to see were it goes, but my commitments will hold you back from having a great relationship that you truly deserve. I'm going to continue breaking and breaking your heart over and over. Your so beautiful and deserve so much more than a celebrity romance filled with whirlwinds. You deserve your Prince Charming who'll come and sweep you off of your feet, not me. With my schedule and efforts, I won't be able to give you a fairytale romance...ever," he says looking down.

I thought we wanted the same thing. I was waiting for him to say "I'm kidding!" but it never happened. He continued to stare down to the floor. My voice starts to crack as I speak, "I never wanted a fairytale romance or a Prince Charming. I don't want romantic gestures and gifts. I just want you and I want to be able to be held in your arms. I want you and only you to kiss me atop my forehead when I need it the most. I don't just want you, I need you," I say hoping he'll realize his mistake.

"You might say that now but I know you and I know that you'll always want this perfect boyfriend and that's not me. I'm a screw up. I'm a jerk. I left you and who's to say I won't leave you again for my career. I can't see you go through heartbreak again Mel. I can't. It's hurts me, it hurts me so much. I love you with all my heart and enough to know that this is the best for the both of us. "

I don't know what to do except one thing: I closed the space between us and run my hands up his toned arms. I lifted up his face to face mine and I kiss him hard on the lips. I deepen the kiss but he makes no effort to do so. I felt the warm and tingly feeling when his lips were on mine. I slowly pulled back, my face still inches apart from his, "Don't you feel it too? Why are you trying to pull away?"

He looks at me and then looks away before saying, "Of course I do. I always will but I can't be your superhero because each time I hurt you, I'm a villain and you'll never want that," He continues to not look at me.

I start to cry again and he makes no effort in wiping my tears away. I really believed that this was something we both wanted. Something we needed. I needed him but he pushed away. I poured out my feelings to him and he pushed me away. Why does he always do this to me?

I brush away my tears and head for the door. I look at him one last time but he never glanced back. I open the door hoping for him to rush back saying that he wants to be with me but he never did.

I walk out the door, the air feeling cooler than when I had walked inside the house. The air was crisp and cold. I ran down the path and driveway, running on the sidewalk. I continued to run and run. I ran as fast as I could from my pain, my suffering and my agony.

Grayson Bailey Dolan was my one and only. I could only continue to fight for us but that wouldn't build a healthy relationship. I try processing all of what he told me and I tried seeing he reasonable side of it but I couldn't. I was addicted to his touch and I needed to kiss his luscious lips on the daily.  I was so confused and my thoughts were colliding and mashing all at once as I continued to run to wherever my legs were taking me.

A/N: Geez...why can't those two get together already? I know I promised for some Ethan but once agin my hands flew over the keyboard and this was the end product. I think the next chapter will definitely have some Ethan because I'm already planning and it makes the most sense with the story. I targeting this story to have multiple parts, maybe like 40 something and I'm already thinking bout a prequel. Like the story before they moved. How they met, how they started hanging out to how they started dating. Like idk honestly but lemme know what you think of this chapter and some of my ideas. I know the chapter was like super short but I have family over so this was the most I could get done. Remember follow my profile for updates on new chapters and comment your thoughts. Also be sure to give a chapter a star and that let's me know that you guys liked it a lot!