(Play this when he is touches a picture)
Justin's family took him home to Minnesota. Danny walked him into his room for the first time in five months. He slowly paced the room. The pictures jumped out at him as if they were memories. But they were just pictures to him. He turned to Danny then to his wall. "These.. these drawings.. they were made by-by" he tried, struggling to grasp the right words that he wanted to say but couldn't. "Fans. Fans of yours. From your phone" Danny said calmly. Yes, Justin was getting better but he had just finished a funeral. Justin stayed at the same hotel Raegan's mother was at. In fact, they were right down the hall. Mrs. Beast didn't leave her room often and Mr.Blake went to check on her everyday when everyone else in Justin's family stayed with him in the room. He couldn't think. Sometimes he felt like he couldn't breathe. And the worst part was... he didn't know why. He tried for hours, thinking and stumbling over the thoughts. Justin felt like a prisoner in his own mind, trapped, scared, alone. He cried when he went to sleep only to wake up again thirty minutes later with what he thought was something but wasn't. He still couldn't figure out why he felt so awful. "Why does it hurt so bad Mom?! WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH?!" he had screamed one night after she had run into his room. He spent four hours crying that night. She held him close but as if he were molded glass, poised to break under the slightest touch. He continued walking around the small, boxy room. These were his clothes. Those were his hats. He didn't notice when Danny left. He caught sight of another picture and snatched it off the dresser. Justin touched the picture of Raegan and thought about his funeral, some tears dripping down his cheek. It was a nice service. The people who came were nice. Danny had told him that his "fans" were sorry for his loss. But Justin couldn't remember what he had lost exactly. When they had to walk the casket carrying Raegan into the chapel, Mrs.Beast broke down in tears and Raegan's aunt grabbed the small child from her arms. She had lost a son, Justin remembered thinking. Soon it was time to walk up and say the last goodbyes. Raegan's family had gone first. His little sister and brother had looked up to their mom and asked her why Raegan was sleeping. She couldn't reply, instead leaning down and kissing his cleaned and stitched forehead and whispering how she was sorry. Justin had wondered why she was sorry. She didn't hit him with a car. Next it was his turn. He slowly approached the coffin and looked at Raegan's body. It was stitched up nicely so you barely see the cuts. There was no more blood. But still Justin almost couldn't feel a thing. This, he thought, this is worse then death. Danny looked at him but Justin was oblivious. He started shaking and sobbing, falling to his knees. "IM SORRY!" he sobbed in front of the church. "It's all my fault". Danny grabbed him and helped him out of the church. "Justin, I get it ok? It's going to.." Justin interrupted, "NO! Don't you dare (sob) say that it's going to be ok! It's not! He was your friend! You remember him! YOU KNEW HIM! AND HE'S SUPPOSED TO MEAN SOMETHING TO ME BUT I CANT REMEMBER! ALL I CAN REMEMBER IS THAT IT WAS MY FAULT HE GOT KILLED! HE WAS ONLY ON THAT ROAD BECAUSE I WANTED HIM TO COME BACK! It's- its- its m-my fault" Justin screamed and had fallen to his knees again.
The picture smashed against the wall. The glass sparkles in the light as the shards fell onto the floor. He grabbed the next one. The tears became a river on his face now as he glared at the happy people hugging in the photo. That one hit the wall too. Justin ran over the glass shards and began ripping at the walls, tearing paper and his fingernails until blood ran. He threw everything off his desk and tore all the clothes out of his closet. He smashed a hole in another wall with his fist beating it over and over again. Blood streamed from his hands and he fell into the middle of the chaos, his cries echoing throughout his house. Soon he was being hugged and his hands examined. He was taken into Danny's room and lain on the couch. He just stared at the ceiling. Danny's voice was muffled in his ears. "How do you feel?" He ticketed his head and looked his brother in the eyes. "I wish I couldn't feel a thing. I wish I couldn't feel anything. But I do. I just don't know why". He said before turning over and falling softly into sleep.
Raegan: Babe, you sleepy?
Justin nodded, drifting off into dreamland. Raegan stood, grabbing his boyfriend off of his chair and carrying him upstairs to Raegan's room. He laid Justin on his bed before climbing over him. Raegan wrapped his arms around his angel and smiled. Justin slowly opened his eyes, looking around the room before they caught Raegan's and he grinned slightly, pulling himself closer to his boyfriend.
Justin: Rae?
Raegan: Yeah?
Justin: Can you sing to me? Pwease?
Raegan: Which song?
Justin: That(yawn) one from the movie.
Raegan caught on. Of course Justin would want the song from his favourite movie.
Raegan: Breathe deep, breathe clear, know that I'm here, know that I'm here, waiting. Stay strong ,stay gold, you don't have to fear, you don't have to fear, waiting. I'll see you soon, I'll see you soon. How could heart like yours ever love a heart like mine? How could I leave before, how could I have been so blind? You open up my eyes, you open up my eyes.
