Downpour (DISCONTINUED)

The Final Chapter

Authors Note: What kind of fic writer would I be if I left what few consistent readers I have with that ending? I've decided to discontinue Downpour. It was a lot of fun to write but honestly, I don't have the energy to maintain it. So this chapter will put it to rest. Thanks for reading!

The day of the funeral was sunny, warm but not too hot. Perfect weather. Kakashi would have almost preferred a chilling wind, with needles of rain that stung his skin and brought tears to his eyes. Instead he stood in the sunlight, in a clean black shirt and slacks, all pressed neatly by Yamato. 

For once in his life, Kakashi was grateful for the mask covering his airways. It hid the tremble in his lower lip and the constant grinding of his teeth. The priest was young and professional, reading the appropriate words from the leather book in his hands to the grand total of five people gathered around the sparsely decorated coffin. 

Naruto and Yamato flanked him, Naruto gripping his hand almost lifelessly. Gai stood beside Yamato, exchanging his ridiculous workout clothes for a simple black suit. Kakashi almost wished he'd worn them,, if only to bring a little color to the situation. And of course, Iruka, who stood on the other side of the coffin, staring blankly at the ground. Kakashi knew he was only here to support Naruto. 

"Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust." The priest murmured, finally concluding. "And with that knowledge, we lay you to rest. Amen." The leather book closed with a dull yet comforting noise, and Kakashi bowed his head, closing his eyes. 

When he raised them, he was met with Iruka's warm eyes. Kakashi smiled beneath the mask, not a smile of happiness, but one meant to comfort Iruka that he was, as he said, okay. 

In the Hospital

Kakashi left his mother's room in a daze, numb and too preoccupied with the sobbing teenager on his arm to notice Iruka leaning against the wall. They bumped shoulders, Kakashi stumbling a bit, clutching Naruto like a broken toy. Iruka stood fully upright when he saw the redness around Kakashi's eyes, the stunned way in which he moved. 

"Kakashi...?" Iruka began, reaching out to touch Naruto's shoulders, still looking at Kakashi. Kakashi only took a shuddering breath, releasing Naruto, who stumbled forward and pressed his face into Iruka's stomach. Iruka  continued to search his gaze, his face gentler than it was before. 

"She's gone." Kakashi croaked, his throat raw from screaming. 

"I heard you screaming..." Kakashi looked away. "We can talk later, if you want-" 

"No, no its okay." Kakashi wiped his eyes hastily. 

Push it down. Swallow it. Control it. Show him you're okay.

"Just um, Naruto?" Kakashi knelt, gently turning the blonde to face him. "Hey Kiddo, can you wait for me in the car? I need to talk to Iruka." Naruto nodded, sniffling. 

"See ya later Iruka." He mumbled, hugging him once before walking quickly down the hallways. 

"Gai went to the cafe downstairs, if you were wondering." Kakashi nodded, hugging himself tightly. 

"Listen, Iruka.." Iruka raised a hand. 

"Me first? Please?" Kakashi nodded silently. "I'm sorry. About everything." Kakashi opened his mouth to speak but Iruka cut him off. 

"No matter what you say I'm partly to blame for what happened. You were right about Eren, before... before you and I got together, he was my first love. And I guess," Iruka chuckled, looking at the ground. "I guess that I still love him." He looked up. "And while I share part of the blame, so do you. But for what it's worth, I'm sorry." 

Kakashi exhaled long and slow, eyes closed. 

"What I did was wrong, Iruka. And not a day goes by when I don't regret it." Iruka's eyes softened, there was a hint of forgiveness there. "I hope you and Eren are happy together. And I hope someday you can forgive me." 

Iruka hugged him tightly, catching Kakashi off guard. 

"I already did." He pulled away, smiling. "Are you gonna be okay?" Kakashi nodded. "Alright. Goodbye, Kakashi Hatake." 

Iruka smiled kindly at him, then turned and walked away, disappearing around the corner and leaving Kakashi alone. 

...

Yamato tiptoed around him all day, as he had all week. He kept touching Kakashi hesitantly, as if he wanted to soothe him but was afraid he would break. 

Kakashi could barely stand it. His heart ached, he grieved silently, he needed desperately for Yamato to notice his agony and do a little more than touch his arm. 

Now, night had fallen. Naruto had cried himself out on Kakashi's shoulder, the funeral seemed to have prodded the wound a bit, as it did for him. 

Kakashi stood in the dark living room, shirtless and wearing a pair of Yamato's pajama bottoms but unable to sleep. He stared out the window, watching the soft glow of street lamps reflecting off parked, silent cars. It looked so peaceful. 

"Kakashi." Yamato murmured from behind him. "What are you doing?" 

"Suffering, if you must know." Kakashi breathed, barely audible. He was at his breaking point. Yamato padded up to him, nuzzling his neck and looping his arms around his waist. He still moved slowly, he was scared. 

"What are you scared of, Yamato. Why do you hesitate when you touch me." He whirled around, taking his shoulders. "I need you, isn't that clear? I need you." His voice raised to a harsher whisper, desperation clinging to his words. 

"I was scared that I had imagined kissing you. That you didn't actually want me. Need me." Yamato murmured. Kakashi leaned their foreheads together, shaking. 

"Yamato. Yamato." His voice trembled, his hands shaking. "Yamato, I need you." Yamato nodded, framing his face with his hands. 

"I'm here." He whispered against his lips, kissing him so gently it made Kakashi's chest ache. Kakashi leaned into the touch, whimpering. 

"I'm always here." 

...

The weeks that followed were blurred together. Eventually, Kakashi decided to take a break from college for awhile, to heal and to find himself. And perhaps if he was willing to admit it, to stay with Yamato. After two weeks, Kakashi properly took him on a date, a then another, and another and another until they had a proper, traditional relationship. Naruto moved in with them, continuing his schooling and eventually, bringing home a young lover that Kakashi grew to like. 

Kakashi ached, yes. But Yamato calmed that ache. As did Naruto, and their mundane life. Harumi was dead. His father and brother were dead. Iruka was gone, civil but distant. But Kakashi was not alone. 

He had Gai, and his overbearing and friendly family. He had Yamato, with his insecurities and addictions, and the love for Kakashi that seeped from his limbs and into everything he did. And he had Naruto, who stood beside him through everything and anything, always looking at him with awe and reverence that inspired Kakashi to be a better version of himself. 

Yes he ached, but time heals all wounds. And until Kakashi's wounds faded to scars that no longer pained him, but were instead laced with memories, Kakashi would never be alone.