Insanity

My short lesson...

When we got back from our trip out in Shambala to play our little "game", I had finally reached my tent and literally passed out. I fell asleep with a warm and gentle, and also a hurting and scared feeling. This is bad, if anyone found out I can use fire, I am dead. I bit my lip and told my shocked mind, that's right I can fire. I had a nightmare again, it was similar to the one I had a little while ago. I was again in a black and mysterious room, but this time with no lady, just a bunch of shadows in the background talking about me. In my dream, they all came up to me, the shadows turned into 5 soldiers of different races, I can't remember what they were telling me, but I died. I woke up with a gasp, again, I clutched my chest and inhaled and exhaled slowly. Why are these stupid dreams occurring to me? I scold myself, this is what you get for making a forever-lasting contract with a Demon, not to mention a Fire Demon, plus the fact that he is going to sleep with my soul for another 100 years: yeah.

The sun hasn't even rised, it's not even dawn yet, about 3 in the morning I got up and ready for the day. I jogged out to the same area where I first met Nicolette an the others, no one comes out to this forest anymore after the survival test, which I remember-perfectly. I figured, this spot is pretty much deserted, so I can practice my fire here. I take a deep breath, perform my stance and gracefully move my arms around-like a bird. I swung my arms out and...and-nothing. I got frustrated, what am I doing? I turn around to leave, but a voice reaches me through telepathy, "No, that's not how you do it, don't leave, i'll teach you how." I flinch at the recognition of the voice, no way Phoenix? I use my thoughts back to him and state, " Your still alive?" The voice chuckles and responds back, "No no, you misunderstood, my corpse has left Gehenna for 100 years, I will return, but my soul can still communicate to you, and only you can hear these thoughts." I get excited, and declare back, "I am going to call you Phoenix from now on as your name, not the Phoenix, and you seem to nice to be a Demon." Phoenix stays quiet then commented out, "Yes, but you know I still have Demon blood running through my vains, sometimes I loose my sanity and become monster-like."

As he spoke like that to me he added on, "Whenever you need me, call out to me to my soul inside your body, and my flames will help in anyway possible." I nod and we get started on my lesson, to use fire I have to make different poses with my hands, so sorta like an Exorcist. The most basic pose to use fire is air punching my elbows on both sides and putting my hands side by side and stretching out to a good distance in front of me. As I try what Phoenix has taught me just now, I ready my movements and spread my arms out as far as I can, ready...lets do this!  I inhale then exhale and my moves reach perfect timing, I throw the flames out and they are beautiful. I jump up and down and exclaim outloud, "I did it! I did it! " Phoenix congratulates me and I take out my Hand Claws and threaten whoever is there, the person steps out.

I notice it is only Ricardo, and I back away blushing- Heh heh, oops... He walks up to me with a child's smile on his face and asks, " What are you doing?" I explain to him I am on a walk and only stretching, he laughs and tells me I'm weird, nice save Lisanna, Phoenix states to me. I decide to head back so I won't have any more surprises from anyone. Ricardo changes his attitude and comments, "Are you ready for the Red Moon?" I stop walking with my head down and answer back, "Why do you ask?" He takes a moment and replies back, "It's just everyone seems so confident and prepared, I don't think I am going to make it..." I walk up to him slowly and slap him really hard, I see the red mark left on his face and grab him by the collar-my favorite mad gesture to do. I speak softly, "Don't you dare think or speak like that, at least not when I am around, I hate it when people think they're useless and weak, well YOU out of all people, was the last person I was expecting to hear this from-again." He stares at me like he just saw a Demon, and I let go of his collar of his shirt and let him take in some air. I look at him, speaking with only my eyes, *Do you understand?* He nods at me like as if to say, *Yes, you're right, sorry.* I smile and help him back up, we silently walk back to camp.

As we head to the mess hall, and I see most of my pals there, I sit next to Nicolette-she sees pretty uncomfortable and has red cheeks. I lean over and whisper gently, "What's up?" She yelps and flinches, like she always does, and answers back," Um Lisanna, what is love?" I nearly choke on my food, and quickly aim my hand for the glass of water in front of me, I take a large gulp and pound my chest to make an opening to let my water go down easily. When I am finished, I look at her like, WHAT!!??? She drags me outside and we talk, I declare out to her, "Listen, I seriously have no idea about love, I can barley imagine it." She stops me and responds back, "I know, I know, it's just that i have, I guess a little something for this guy, and I thought maybe, we could-" I interrupted her in her speech of love, which I guess was rude but I had to point this out to her. I take a breath and say, "Nicolette, have you stopped to consider what the outcome of a relationship would be like in a war? I mean what if one of you don't make it back, which saddens the other, or if both of you don't come back-you know, something like that." Nicolette nods her head and tells me, Yeah, I know, it's ok Lisanna, don't feel bad. I was the one with high hopes, it's just I've never felt this way before. She fights back the tears and I hug her, she is taller than me, which is weird, but doesn't stop me, I finish this conversation by remarking, "Whoever this man is, he is the luckiest man in the world o have someone like you keeping an eye out for him. If you really love this man, then you will meet again later, just not now, you have to focus about this war-love later." She nods and finally concludes this chat by saying, "See? You do know something about love, you made me feel better."

This morning, we did our daily exhausting schedule, obstacle, fights, breakfast. I have had about just enough of this, but we are not even close yet-halfway, but not close enough. I thought it was strange that my father never has written me a letter-or something, I confronted General Sentire that was to busy talking to some of the female instructors, which grossed me out. I focused myself onto the Elf in front of me and questioned, "Ok Elf, has anything arrived here from my father-like I don't know, a letter maybe?!" He just shook his head and stood quietly in his normal stance, his hands behind his back, and his long beard-long enough to give someone a full wig, stood quietly staring at me. Why do I get the feeling this guy is hiding something from me? I start to walk up to him but his stupid, personal bodyguard Golems hogged me away from his tent and dropped me outside. I angrily stood up, but stopped myself-what's the point anyway? I walked away, still not believing this is the general, leader of all of us is like. I mean who died and made him hairy-king?

I return to my tent, and think to myself, man-this better be worth everything I am doing and training for. I mean, if I live, I get to return home to my father and my old life-an unfamiliar always there to protect her father. I get a heartache, I don't want just that anymore, I want everyone-all my pals to be with me, even Kyle and Emily, to stay friends with me after this war. I lay my head on my pillow comfortably, and tell myself, I don't care how much I train with the others, as long as I get what I wish for. I close my eyes and prepare for tomorrow. Who knows what we are expecting.

As I wake up tiredly, I walk out to the combat-fighting area and see 2 duelers fighting out there-Aiden and a Golem. I sit down in my assigned seat, and I watch as they bow down to one another and everyone hears the start signal, the Golem guy uses his rock armor, and Aiden takes out his Monk Staff. The Golem takes a risk and slashes at Aiden, but fails at the attempt, the Golem is trapped in a Demon's circle, Aiden chants a ritual under his breath. The Golem struggles to break free, which makes him sink even faster. Aiden raises his staff and breaks through the rock armor of the Golem. The Golem boy flinches and covers his face. Aiden repeatedly stabs the boy in the stomach and in the legs, every hit louder and louder, a gory scene for everyone. The boy looks up to Aiden one last time, he asks, "How...?" Aiden closes his eyes and turns around replying, "It's all about the skill and level as a Hunter to decide what you can do." With that the Golem drops completely knocked out and General Sentire announces, "That concludes the fight the victor: Aiden Lacspor!" The crowd erupts with no mercy, and I cheer alongside everyone, man what a killer.