Letting Go

1

Waking up in my empty room with nothing but the blow up bed I was sleeping in made me jump back into reality. We are really moving to Santa Monica. I started to worry again, I lied back down to try and calm myself down. It will be fine Ailbhe, it's just one more year of high school I have to get through in a new city, it will be fine, or so I keep telling myself.

I have lived in Chicago my whole life and just out of no where Mom gets transferred hospitals because she is a Doctor and just like that we are being uprooted thirty hours away to Santa Monica. So as Mom, Dad, Saoirse and I drove away from what was our home I shed more than just a few tears.

Saoirse and I are twins, seventeen years old and just about to start our senior year at high school. Even though our appearance's are identical, brown hair, bright green eyes and around 5.5 in height, our personalities couldn't be more different even if we tried. I'm what you would describe as an introvert, very reserved, anti social with not many friends and I am very much book obsessed. My sister Saoirse on the other hand is my polar opposite, she has lots of friends, enjoys party's and shopping and is always dating someone new, where as I have never had a boyfriend. Mom, Dad and Saoirse think this big move will be good for me and help me "come out of my shell" as they put it but honestly I think it will make my problems worse.

After a few hours of reading and listening to music in the car, I decide to join the weird karaoke with what is my weird family. They are in the middle of croaking out the classic ballad " I will always love you" by Whitney Houston. Good God they sound like a pack of dying crows, but I join them anyway.

It's starting to get dark when Saoirse decides to start up a conversation. 

"I can't wait to see the house Al, I think Dad says it's close to the pier so we can enjoys the few nights of summer there of what we have left"

" Same I guess" I mumble with a yawn.

"Come on Al be excited with me, this is a good thing. I really wish you would see that".

" Look Saoirse I'd rather not work myself up over it yet. You know if I over think I will start to become paranoid, I need time to adjust". I tell her with a sigh, she just doesn't understand how I'm feeling about this.

" Look all I want to say is that you can start fresh, things will be different for you here". She persists.

"I don't adapt well to change like you do or make friends with someone after five minutes of taking to them, it's easier said than done for me" I huff.

" I didn't say you had to make friends in five minutes, I just said TRY, for goodness sake Ailbhe if you never even try to let go you won't go very far in life". She says angrily as she turns to face the window annoyed by my stupidity.

I don't respond because deep down I know she's right but she doesn't realise how hard it is for someone like me to actually let go.

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Pronunciation of names:
Ailbhe - Al- va
Saoirse - Sair- sha