Gravity

Part 15: dreams

"I cant believe you let him go bellamy you should have killed him!" Finn yelled at bellamy.
"Oh trust me I wanted to but she didn't want me to i dont know why..." bellamy said sending a slight glare at me.
I stood up and grabbed my wash cloth then faced my back towards the mirror.
I turned my head just right so I could see what I was doing.
My back had cuts all over it.
"Let me help you" Finn said pushing past Bellamy.
"Whats his problem?" I asked as he left the dropship.
"He couldn't kill that guy, you should have seen how mad he was" finn said dabbing the cloth on my back sending pain through my body.
"Be right back" I said getting up.
My eyes wondered around the camp looking for that one certain person, Bellamy.
He walked in his tent before he saw me, two girls followed behind. Hm maybe hes sending them off for a hunt??
I kept my mind from going on the other side. 'Hes with them in one tent that means one thing'
I walked close to the tent ready to go in.
"Take off your clothes" a girl spoke.
He didn't say anything back I just heard clothes moving around.
"Bella-" I walked in on purpose to see what was going on.
He turned around while Emma had her dirty little hands all over him, and her friend was taking off her clothes.
"Oh sorry I interrupted, continue to have fun with these two sluts" I winked at him, not a sexy wink but a screw you I'm done wink.
He didn't say a word well at least I walked out before he could.
"Don't listen to her shes worthless" Emma said then I heard kissing noises. Those words and Blaines words repeated: worthless
I took off running out of camp I don't care if blaine catches me at this point.
Bellamy means everything to me and he's going off with other girls. I know me and him are not dating but still.
*warning attempted suicide and other stuff ahead if you dont like it skip this chapter*

I ran all the way until I made it to the cliff where charlotte jumped off of sadly. Honestly I wish I was her right now.
I fell to my knees crying, I keep wondering why I am crying I can't figure that out all I know is because he hurt me...
What if I lose him, who will I have left no one...
Flashback:
"Babe!" I heard blaines voice coming from my room, I opened the door he was sitting there with a teddy bear and a blanket, its my 16th birthday.
"Aw baby thank you" I smiled and kissed his lips.
"Be right back love im sorry I have family things to do I will be back soon" he said kissing me one more time before leaving.
~~5 min later~~
Ah crap he left his watch. I grabbed his watch and jogged down the short hall way to his room.
I opened the door and saw what I never wanted to see.
He was screwing Emma.
"What the hell!" I screamed throwing his watch at him.
"Baby im sorry" he said grabbing my arm.
"Dont baby Im sorry me!" I yanked out of his grip.
"No im sorry that you never wanted to have sex!" He spat as for Emma she had a smirk on her face.
I didn't say a word I just left.
End of flashback:
I pulled my knees to my chest and cried.
Theres honestly no point anymore, I have no one left, Im gonna die soon anyways im bound to, the grounders or the world ending..again.
I stood up and stood close to the edge.
"Don't do this Addilyn..." Bellamy said from behind me.
"Shut up I don't care what you have to say" it was harsh and no I didn't mean it but im hurt.
"Look I understand you're hurt but come on grow up" Emmas voice came from the same spot.
I turned around and stepped forwards a little bit.
I saw a sharp piece of glass on the ground I quickly grabbed it and held it to my arm.
"If you come any closer I will do it" I dug deeper into my skin.
Tears hit my arm and the ground.
"Addilyn please...I care about you I need you" Bellamy put his hands up and walked slowly towards me.
"THEN WHY DID YOU SCREW HER AND WHY IS SHE HERE!!" I screamed, not realizing it but I dug deeper into my arm causing it to bleed.
"Why do you hate her so much!" Bellamys voice boomed throughout the woods.
"Ask her!" I said glaring at her.
"Her boyfriend blaine cheated on her, on her 16th birthday for me" she said smirking.
"That boy who you didn't kill was him" I said gripping onto the glass so hard making my hand bleed.
"I don't want to lose you" bell said coming closer.
"I SAID DONT COME CLOSER!!" I slid the glass across my arm, not up and down but across.
"Stop!" He screamed backing away.
"Bellamy you are all I have left, and you had to go and screw Emma, I don't want to lose you like I did everyone else, bell im not strong anymore! I can't take it anymore!!" I said going a little bit down my arm towards my wrist and holding the glass there.
"Ha shes weak!" Emma said laughing.
"LEAVE!!" Bellamy said pushing her away.
"Bellamy, why would anyone want me anyways, Im worthless just leave save yourself pain and get another girl someone who can give you everything you want, someone who's drop dead gorgeous someone who you can sit there and call her adorable and mean it..." I said. My anger faded away but pain came in worse and worse.
"Addilyn what happened to the promise you made to stay strong huh..? your not worthless you mean something, you are the only girl who gives me everything i want because you are my everything, you are the only one I ever thought was pretty, I cant take my eyes off of you the way your eyes twinkle when your smile shines bright, you are the reason why I am happy, why I am who I am, I don't know what I would do without you Addilyn, I would be lost..." Bellamy kept going on and on, the more he talked the more tears fell, his eyes were glossy and he kept getting closer.
I started straight up sobbing, when I fell to the ground the piece of glass slid up my arm to my wrist.
"Im sorry bellamy" I hit the ground and cried.
He took the glass out of my hand and craddled me.
"I can't lose you bell I love you to much and I will always love you" I cried into his shoulder.
"I will always be here as long as your here, I will always love you to"