Gravity

Part 27: forgive me

I sat in my room in the arc.
"So you finally feel my pain huh?" Jasper said walking in.
"I dont know" I sniffled.
"No you will never feel my pain until you lost someone you love" he continued to look at me.
"Stop jasper! I did what I had to! And don't say I didn't lose anyone I loved because I did!!" I got in his face.
"Oh I'm sorry, Bellamy doesn't want you to be around him because you hurt him you hurt all of us, you are a coward you left us because you couldn't deal with your own pain!" He clenched his fists.
"Leave Jasper!" My voice cracked and more tears fell.
"When will I stop crying...when will the pain go away" I whispered to myself.
"Never, it will always be with you, but you can't let it get to you baby girl" I looked over to see Casey,
He's not really here...
"Things would be better if you just lived!" I screamed kicking things around the room causing my wound to hurt more but It doesn't matter it was nothing compared to my real pain.
Maybe if I just push people away, things will get better I wouldn't be able to hurt anyone.

I walked out of my room to find Pike.
"How can I help around here?" I asked trying to stay strong.
"Well you can go help Abby" He said pointing in the distance.
I walked off.
"Abby how can I help you?" I asked.
"Well theres nothing to help with except Clarke, Bellamy and Finn are going out to collect things for me at Mount weather, but-" before she could finish I interrupted.
"Im going" I walked off to the car.
"No you need rest" she grabbed my arm.
"Were all gonna die anyways" I took my arm out of her hand and jumped in the back of the truck with Finn.
"What are you doing here?" He asked making bellamy and clarke look in the back.
"Going on a suicide mission with you guys, were gonna die at one point anyways so why not make the best out of it?" I said forcing a smile.
"Lets go" Pike said closing the doors and hitting the car.
Bellamy took off.
~~~~
"Okay you guys go do what you need to do I'm gonna go look somewhere else" I said parting from the group.
"Be careful" Clarke yelled.
I walked into the communication room.
I looked around and started crying.
I walked around the room looking for things to bring with me, anything to help.
"Don't move" I felt a knife against my neck.
"What do you want"I said knowing it was Blaine.
"Walk" he said making me walk over to a room with doors, the air gets sucked out.
"What do you want" I grinded my teeth.
"Get in there" he said talking behind us.
Bellamy was first then Clarke then finn.
"NOO" I screamed and started struggling.
"I met this girl, the moment I saw her I knew it was love, not long after we had a kid, we were living happy, she lived here in Mount Weather with our child while I put my life on the line for her, but one day a murder came in and cut off all air, and exposed them to radiation- so now you will feel my pain, losing the ones you love, but the only difference is, its your fault." He closed the door and pressed the button.
"NOO IM SORRY PLEASE JUST LET THEM GO IM SORRY--- IM SORRY OKAY!!" I screamed and cried.
I kicked and punched until he fell backwards.
I quickly hit the button.
The doors opened, they started breathing again.
"Kill me not them let them go please" I begged.
They looked at me and begged me to stop.
"Blaine, please...you know I am not like that I don't kill people..." I said as Bellamys finns and Clarkes eyes went wide when I said his name.
"You, you hurt me Addilyn" he said pointing the knife at me.
"You hurt me Blaine! You cheated on me, for emma, you hurt me! Just let them go!" I screamed.

~~~Bellamys pov~~~
He cheated on her for Emma...
That's why she hates her.
She hurt me, but I can't let anything happen to her I need to talk to her.

~~Addilyns pov~~
"BLAINE PLEASE!!" I begged hitting the ground crying.
I looked past him and saw a gun.
I got up and ran to the gun.
"You wouldn't kill me, I am all you have left of your brother" he said smirking.
"You are not all I have left of my brother, he may not be here but hes here, I have my family down here, Bellamy, Clarke, and Finn, I love them very much so I do what I need to for them I bare it so they don't have to" I said closing my eyes and pulling the trigger.
My ears rung as his body slowly hit the ground.
Everything was moving so slowly.
I dropped my gun and fell to the floor, Bellamy ran to me.
"Your okay" He grabbed me and cradled me as I cried.
"I had to kill him Bellamy" I sobbed into his chest.
"I know you did babygirl I know you did."
~~~
"What did you guys get??" Abby said walking over to us.
"Nothin" I said blankly staring off and walking to my room.
"Can we talk..?" Bellamy said walking in.