A Life Through Different Eyes.

Early June

          My life now, eh I guess you can say it's good. I have almost everything I want. What I really want is to be loved. I have the best friends in the world, they are the only people that I think loves me, besides my two older/mature friends who I call Madré and Tía, which means mom and aunt in Spanish, since their both Hispanic. There's Taylor, Isabella, Renesmee, Layla, Kayla, Christina, Britney, and me of course. Our group is tied together by trust and love. Our group is so weird. We named it #S.A.B.Y. S for Starbucks, A for Anime, B for boy bands, and Y for you-tubers. It's just something we all have in common and it relaxes us.

          I thought that I had the worst mom ever, but when I met my friend Kayla she told me that her mom passed away and she loved her lot, then here I being a bitch talking shit about my mother everyday. My other friend Taylor has both her parents, but she rarely gets to see her dad, and hasn't seen her mom in about 2 years. Then there's Tía, she's a paraprofessional in my school, so basically she is assigned a special student to help in all their classes. Tía's name is María Rodriguez. Her mom had breast cancer, but then they amputated her breast so its gone, but then she developed lung cancer and they had to fix that also, but she is still very very ill. Tía told me and the rest of #S.A.B.Y. that she has had to give up relationships because if her mother, when I heard that I felt super bad because of how I treat my mother. She has 2 brothers and another sister who call to ask how their mom is doing, but Tía is the only one who actually takes care of her, and her mom still treats her like crap or so she says. I also told Tía about one time that I wanted to kill myself because I felt used, unwanted, and abused, and she told me "One time I wanted to kill myself too, because I fell in love with a guy, we were engaged and everything and one day he just picked up and left and all he said was"I can't do this anymore" and I felt used and unwanted also, he didn't even say why he left or anything." To me that's is so inspiring, it touched me deep within my heart that she would share that with me and I will never forget that moment...ever. I can be such a bitch sometimes, so I guess my mom is right sometimes, but what do I know shes only a child through others eyes also. I only get to see my dad and sisters in the summer time, which is kind of sad, because I want them to grow up and know me, I don't want them to think that I don't care about them just because I never come to see them often, but it could be worse.

          I love school, I know some people say I'm weird for saying that because it's very rare for children even adults to say that. I love my school because I get to do what I love everyday. I go to LaGuardia high school where I am free to sing everyday. Singing makes me feel free because nobody can tell me anything while I'm doing it. My chorus teacher is hilarious. We call her by her first name Kisha cause she's cool and allows us to. She's a great singer of course and has a musical ear just like me. Having a musical ear is very special, you can hear things that other people can't even if it's far away, as well as different tones and pitches in music.

          So back to my other mature friend a.k.a. my "Madré", she's really my English teacher. I don't know why, but she's one of those people that I trust to tell anything, her name is Flora Gonzales. She's the only adult that knows that I'm not a virgin. I'm a compulsive lair so it's hard for me to say that I've never lied to her, but I have three times, but she knows now, so I guess it's not really a lie/secret anymore. She has a beautiful 6 year old daughter named Nyla, I like to think of her as my sister, even though I never met her. I wish she was really my mom. I know I shouldn't say that, but it's true, but then again, I say that only because I feel that she listens and relates to me. She's trustworthy with confidentiality, she's beautiful, when she teaches it's clear for me to understand everything, and I love her. It was parent teachers conference, I couldn't wait to go to her class and hear my report, before my mother, grandmother, and I even got to sit down she said "I love her, I would adopt her." When I heard that my heart started pounding rapidly. I couldn't even believe what I heard. As soon as the night was over I cried full of joy, and poured my heart out and she doesn't even know it. In school one day she told the class that she had asked the principle to continue/follow our specific class up until we graduated, and the principle stated that the school tried that before with another teacher and the teacher and the students got to attached so she had to turn down her proposal. :-( When I heard that I immediately started working on a petition to have her continue instructing our class throughout our high school years. Literally every student in the class who heard that said "But your not that other teacher your different.", and she replied with a chuckle and said "Awe thank you guys I love you too." Hopefully I get a lot of signatures, because it's obvious that we all love her.

          This paragraph is dedicated to Kayla B., María R., Taylor J., and Flora G.

I love you guys very much. Thanks for reading! :-)