EPHEMERAL- LSK.NJH

sad&empty

January 1, 1997; Busan

love: an intense feeling of deep affection.
LSK

there comes a moment when you know that you've done more than enough.

you've done plenty. so much to the point, it gets irritating. you see, this was my first mistake. trying to be loved instead of loving. i've tried my best to fix them but it seems they just can't be mend. then again you have me, and my try hard ass, asking the world for forgiveness because of my horrible sins.

i didn't realize that my stupidity could never be given a simple, "i forgive you." because it just isn't possible. the day i turned 15 was the day i had realized it had been enough. i had to stop before i go out and hurt more people.

january first 1991, sungkyung, daughter of the beautiful lee elrae and dashing ohara kaito, had finally been born. these two loved each other, not caring about what others may say about them. her parents had the tiny and frail 6-pound baby girl on this very day. instead of celebrating the life of this new being, the hospital room was filled with worry.

fear that this child's life would not even last a day.

there was something wrong with sungkyung. something so terribly wrong, she could've died the moment she was brought to the world. the doctors were frantic, not sure as to what was wrong with the baby. the beautiful lee elrae was not someone to give up. she prayed for her child's life and deliverance so much, she was willing to give her own life up.

"god," she pleaded over her baby's incubator, "take me instead."

they kept the baby in the box, assured the family she would be safe to go home the next morning but were terribly sure she would face problems like this around the same time every year. the two were more than happy to know their new baby girl would be fine but didn't know the dangers that lead ahead. these events kept occurring throughout sungkyung's life.

from vomiting to shivers, the child never seemed to catch a break. she was very weak whenever the snow season came around which worried her parents deeply. nonetheless, they loved her with all their hearts and were willing to provide her with all that she wanted. sungkyung grew stronger as the days past and her parents had started to doubt her sickness ever coming back. she was a happy child, but at times, did feel lonely.

one day, her mother had come home with the wonderful news. "guess what bubba?" she grinned. sungkyung dance around her mother. "what mommy?" "you're gonna have another friend around the house. she's in my stomach!"

sungkyung was confused.

"you ate my new friend?" she looked at her mother funny. the two parents laughed. "no silly! you're going to have a sibling! she's just in my tummy at the moment." her mother smiled. sungkyung was over the moon. shaking her hips and dancing around the house while her father sang such happy tunes and her mother clapped cheering them on.