EPHEMERAL- LSK.NJH

life&others

January 6, 2006; Seoul

ir·ri·ta·tion: the state of feeling annoyed, impatient, or angry.

NJH

"so," the once teary eyed girl starts. "you and mirae huh?" she avoids my eyes and i crack a smile. "what do you mean?" she starts to sway from side to side on her bed. "you're always together. i've ever seen you two eating each other's faces around the halls." she snorts. i'm taken aback, "we do not." "you're trying a hell of a lot to try to keep something from me that the school janitors even know." she rolls her eyes at me. "you guys have probably already had sex for all i know."

i remain silent and look at her with my mouth agape then closed. "wait, don't tell me that you actually did." i shrug and she throws a pillow at me, face reddening. "you're disgusting!" "i'm joking relax!" i laugh and she huffs. "by the looks of it, you're planning aren't you?" she just doesn't get it, does she? "i mean, why not?" she shoots me a look and shakes her head in disapproval.

"you know, you're out here really hurting people if you play them like this. one day, they'll really do something crazy and it'll be your fault." she scolds and i shrug. "it's not like it's anything serious anyway. i'm always like this, next to next, back to back. why should she be any different? it's not like we go all the way of anything." the room grows quiet for a while. she eyes me squinting, "i hope you never find love by the way you treat girls. though mirae may not be my favorite person, she's still a woman." she scoffs, "but i treat sunghee like a princess." i counter back.

"you're really something joo," she plainly states. "but you love me being your something." "grow up." she sighs and lies onto the bed. we listen to the rest of the album again and again. "don't you just wish, at some points, you could just end it all? not die, i mean like, suffering."i look over to her and she has her eyes shut, bobbing her head to the wavy voice booming around her room. i lay down next to her with her head facing the opposite direction.

"if we ended our suffering someone else would have to go through what we're going through. i wouldn't wish that on anyone." "then who's the one that chose us to suffer then?" i stay quiet at that. i'm not quite sure what to tell her, i stopped asking myself that question a long time ago. "hey, we don't have the worst lives i mean, it could be worse. you have a loving aunt and an adorable little sister. i have my mom and her very much needed anger management boyfriend."

"i don't know if i'm allowed to laugh at that." "you are." she lets out a stifled laugh and the room continues to be swooned by the sweet melodic voice. i look at her hair, it's really pretty, and silky, how does she keep it that way? "you know i do think you should talk to mirae." "and say what?" "and tell her how you feel." "what if i don't feel anything." "please, i've seen the way you look at her, you feel something."

i'm confused but still enchanted with her hair and how pretty and full and perfect it is. "what if i feel something for someone else." she's quiet until she collects her thoughts. "then you should quickly end things with her, i mean, why hold onto something you don't want." "the same reason i hold onto things i can't have." "what?" she turns around and inhales a sharp breath when her face turns to mine.

my hand that found it's way off the bed to reach her hair has landed on her cheek which is now a baby shade of pink. i don't take it off. with our faces only inches away, i feel her breath quicken it's pace. "what if i don't want mirae or anyone at all?" she frowns a bit at that. "if you don't want anyone, who would you live for? you've got your whole life ahead of you i mean, you can't say that." i retract my hand away from her face and sit up feeling a bit irritated.

"you'll never understand, will you?" "understand what?" "can we just not talk about her right now? let's talk about that homework you haven't even started. can't jump your way out of that one." "ouch." she laughs a bit and gets up. she looks into her drawer and brings out her notebook. "are you willing to help me? these algebra questions are making my brain grow mold." she gives me a sympathetic look. as i'm about to help the clueless girl, my phone rings. mirae.

"hello?" " i want you to meet me right now!" she laughs over the phone. loud booming rings in my ears. she's probably at another one of yoongi's parties. "i have things to do." "but you've also got money to make, right?" my once entranced hand has formed into a fist and kyung notices. "i'll be right there." i say calmly. 

"what's up? mirae again?" she asks nonchalantly. "yeah, i'll help you out tomorrow alright? no doing anything crazy till i get back." "you're totally whipped." "huh?" "for her, just admit that you like her." she smiles. my face grows to a frown and that irritated feeling slowly finds it's way back into motion. "bye." i walk past her but she whispers something under her breathe,

"you probably even love her."

and i hear.

-

A/N

hey to you peeps who are reading this. i hope this chapter wasn't too much of a bore.

please be reminded that this is the very first book i've ever worked on it's still goin' through sum polishin'~

anyways i hope this was a good read!

ily buh-bye!

don't forget to vote !!

-rosie