Youtube || Michael Clifford

Jake's letter

A while ago when I was rereading this (cause I wanted to see if my writing skills got any better) I noticed a few blanks that felt I bad about cause it's just confusing so I wanted to do something about it but the lazy person I am didn't wanna go back to search and change those chapters so I made this to kinda sum it all up I guess. I know this is bad but I wanted to do something about it all at once so this is what I came up with (at 2am) so yeah this is to clear up the wholes that no one ever asked me about.

Trigger warning

this is a suicide note so I guess the warning is obvious but since I'm personally a person who can get triggered, I didn't have the nerves to go into that kinda stuff too much so there is only one sentence mentioning self harm and that's it, no specifics. Just a letter telling a story.

Jade,
We were always close, we had no secrets
Had, and I won't have any anymore after this

Do you remember the first year of high school?
It was you, me, Jaylinn and Tom
You liked kyan and asked him out
You'd always had that confidence I was jealous of
He laughed at you, spit in your face and walked off to tell his friends about it
Jaylinn was the one to pull you back up your feet
I have never been good in comforting people
I thought you two's friendship would last an eternity
But I was the one to ruin it

I had always thought Jaylinn and Tom were an odd couple
Not for one second did I believe their 'love'
But I got jealous
I was hopelessly crushing oh Jaylinn
She always seemed so perfect to me
So deferent from you, yet so similar

I told Jaylinn Tom was cheating
I thought I could break them up so I'd have her all to myself
But she asked who with
And I panicked, saying the first name that came to my mind
Yours
And simply by that I ruined you entire fucking life

I held you as you cried on my shoulder, I watched as she  eat you up so bad you spend a night at the hospital.

And I didn't do anything, I just let it happen. But you got trough it, like the strong person you have always been.

You told the principal and everything was right again in your eyes, I however looked with guilt tattooed in my eyes, every time I looked at you.

Things became better, our life got back on track, YouTube became our escape. The one thing to keep us going, together.

But I couldn't forget what I did to you, mikaelle was simply a distraction for me, so I didn't have to think about everything I've put you through.

Obviously that changed and I fell in love with her, only making me feel guilty for using her.

that q&a video was the final straw, the hate once again was too much for you.
It reminded me of those days from school and I couldn't take it, I couldn't take seeing my sister hurt like that.

Countless of times did I sit in my room, a razor pressed against my skin. But you never noticed, I never expected you to or wanted you to find out. But my mind started racing and I started to believe that you simply didn't care enough for me to notice.

And then jaylinn suddenly appeared on our doorstep, the day after our birthday. Honestly, I don't know what came over me but the second she had her lips pressed against mine I couldn't get my hands off of her.

And I'm sorry, I understand that you'll never forgive me and you'll probably cry from happiness at my funeral.

But know that wherever this afterlife people talk about is, I love you with my whole heart and soul.

Please don't hate me for this,
Jake.

If you liked this story pls also check out my other stories, I like to think they have better plots, and are simply writing better.

Also thx so much for 5k reads, I know how bad this story is (especially the first few chapters) so thx everyone for sticking to this story.