Am I Going Crazy

(5) Getting To Know

❦Corey

Name: Davis H. Jonathan

Age: 17

Sex: M

Conditions:

Insomniac

Depression

PTSD

Substance abuse

Eating disorder(s)

Anxiety

(Mild) Schizophrenia

Cause of disorders: Molested by "family friend" for two years before she moved away.

Suicide attempts:

Overdosed on 3000 milligrams of Seroquel

Cut multiple major arteries in wrist.

Side notes: Found in his bathroom by his sister.

Asthma

Medication:

Gabitril (for sleep)

Abilify (for depression)

Duration in Holly Hills: 2 years

When I walked into Jonathan's room the next day, I seemed to dread it even more than the first time.

When I had left his room on Monday, I didn't look back to see his reaction after my (slightly) dramatic exit.

He probably thought I was stupid for doing that.

I tapped my finger against the door twice, and waited a couple of seconds before entering.

When I did, I found Jonathan in the same spot.

His upper back was stiff, while the rest unwillingly dipped into the small bed.

He looked timid when his eyes scanned the boring carpet below him. He must've heard me walk in.

"Hey Jonathan." I mumbled half-heartedly, but he didn't look up.

I was about to address him again, but then I heard him speak.

"H-hi."

I smiled the slightest bit in attempt to assure him. "How's your day been so far?"

He kept his eyes on the floor, and lifted his shoulders up, and then dramatically dropped them.

Great, he's gonna be short with me.

I tried to keep my smile from faltering. "Would you like to talk on your bed, or on the chairs over there?"

He shrugged again, and I inhaled in response.

"Alright well...we'll just talk here." I pointed towards the bed, "Mind if I sit here?"

Jonathan moved to the opposite side of the bed in response, so I took that as a yes, and plopped down next to him.

"So, since we didn't get to discuss this yesterday," I began, studying Jon's features as I spoke, "I would like to get to know you better before we get into...deeper topics."

The room was dead silent after I spoke.

Dude, I could practically hear the tension fill the room as Jonathan's gaze remained fragile.

"Jonathan." I mumbled carefully, and he looked up.

I practically drinked in the expression of his glossy eyes as he mumbled, "yeah?"

"Talk to me."

He shuffled slightly under my gaze. "What do you want me to say?"

"Tell me something you like."

That's when Jonathan looked away. I knew that he looked away from me in shame. I was aware of all the things that he had gone through...

"I don't really like anything, dude. Usually I try my best not to think about anything like that."

"How come?"

Jonathan's breath hitched slightly, and his eyes found mine again. "Because then I think about it."

I nodded in understanding.

"Well since we're on the topic of it, how about we find ways not to think about them?" I offered.

Jon gave me a skeptical look. "I don't think they'll ever go away."

"Well, they may not ever go away." Jonathan shuddered, "But I could help you find ways to not make those memories as...prominent as they are now."

Jonathan kept silent after that.

"Jon." I said, and he flinched in response.

I was about to ask him what triggered that reaction, but then he glared at me, all timidness and vulnerability gone.

If looks could kill, I'd be doing shots with Satan right now.

"Don't. Call. Me. That." Jonathan seethed through clenched teeth, and I completely forgot how to remain professional.

My heart kicked in to overdrive. "J-Jonathan...I-I'm so sorry I didn't mean to-

"Just shut up okay? You can't help me!"

There was a voice in the back of my mind giving me two options; either completely quit this job because this kid is hopeless, or call Mr. Crahan on the walkie-talkie for backup.

My heart rejected both of those options.

"Hey uh..." Fuck! What could I say to him? I've probably just reminded him of all the shit he's been through.

"You're essentially setting yourself up for failure here Corey. I'm sick, there's no way to fix that."

I frowned, "Jonathan, I told you already- I'm going to help you. No matter how much it takes to do so."

And then, I made the most stupid decision ever.

❦