The Last Mockingjay

Chapter 8

After Peeta and I spend about ten minutes making ourselves look presentable, we head to the living room where the children are with Gale. Peeta's black eye is swollen shut, and I know that we cannot avoid questions from Prim or Ash. I'm not sure what to tell them. The truth? If so, what is the truth? I honestly don't know anymore.

"Daddy! What happened to your eye?" Prim gasps. Peeta looks at me tentively, and I nod. Then he looks at Gale, who seems far too interested in the light, wooden flooring.

"Your Uncle Gale and I got into a disagreement and we had... trouble resolving it."

"But-" Ashton starts.

"No more questions," I hiss bitterly. My jaw is tense and hard as Ashton looks down at his gray sneakers. Prim looks at me, her face almost as hard as mine as she tries to hide the hurt. I feel detached, as if I'm viewing my life from third person, staring down my 8 and 7 year-old.

"Mommy, what-"

"I said no questions!" I advance on Prim, her composure finally breaking as she bursts into to tears. Ashton just stands there, agape by Prim's side. To late I see what I have done. My face instantly goes slack as tears begin to roll down my cheeks as well.

"Oh, Prim. I'm... I'm so sorry," I whisper, pulling her into a hug. "I'm so so so sorry. I didn't mean it." I gently pat down her smooth hair in the back, while we rock back and forth, crying into each other's shoulders. Sobs rack my body as what I just did continues to sink in. I was afraid this day would come. When my children finally meet the real, bitter me. When my children become scared of their own mother.

Eventually, Prim cries herself to sleep in my arms. I numbly take her upstairs to her room and tuck her in. I wipe the tear stains off her cheeks, and kiss her on the forehead. "I'm so sorry you got stuck with me as your mother, Prim. But I will try and make up for it by loving you with all my heart." I walk to the doorway, look at the sleeping Prim one more time, and slowly close the door behind me as I walk into the hallway. I jump as I turn around to find Gale standing at the end of the hallway, looking in my direction.

I stiffen at the sight of him, not wanting to talk to him at the moment. I try to walk past him, put he stops as I had expected.

"Katniss. I... I just want to say that I'm sorry. I know it doesn't make up for much, but it counts for something, right?"

"Gale-"

"Katniss. Please. Can we at least just be friendly? I'm not asking to be friends, but just not enemies."

"I didn't know we were enemies-"

"Well, you act like we are," Gale says, agitated. He turns away, running his fingers through his hair.

"Fine," I say abruptly.

"What?"

"Fine. I can try to be friends. I can try and forgive you. I can't keep going on like this, so I can try."

Gale looks at me sideways. His lips slightly parted, his eyes filled with disbelief and hope.

"Really?"

I just nod and head back downstairs. I feel like the world is no longer sitting on my shoulders. I know it is, though. I know that the Capitol will find me and my family, but for now, the world can hold itself together for one night. I am greeted by Peeta at the bottom of the stairs. I guess Ashton went to bed sometime during the chaos because he is nowhere to be seen.

I expect him to say something, but he doesn't. He just wraps a strong arm around my waist, and I lean my head on his chest. He walks me to our bedroom which is still a mess, and we just fall asleep, not even bothering to change into our pajamas.