Vent/Rant/Randomness/Journal book

AAAA WHYY

OK I need to be in bed in like 1 minute but I don't want to because I feel like if I go to sleep I won't wake up and normally when I'm really anxious and feel like I'm going to die I listen to sad music to make myself sad to take my mind off the anxiety but I need to sleep too and I've had a panic attack every night for the last three days this isn't normal and I need to write about it I just want a temmie to cuddle and I feel like there's something behind me like a spider but there's nothing there but wall and I want to keep watching Undertale because I'm trash but it's already past the time when my mom said I need to go to bed I would read my favorite book series but my mom won't buy it because it's like $100 for all 13 books and that's crazy and my hands hate me because they're red because I dyed a part of my slime smoothie my cousin made for me red but then I added too much lotion to it so then it was sticky and it's on the carpet and there's a clorox wipe over it and my tortoise is probably starving and I want to listen to MCR but what if the music stops and my tablet dies and I haven't changed my Wattpad password and I never get to say anything before I die to Wattpad and I'm gonna go feed my tortoise and she can have the rest of the leaf and what if my mom comes down here and she sees me typing and she finds out about my Wattpad and about my sins I've committed and she sees the slime on my Harry Potter shirt even though Slime washes out no I need to stay alive to read the next 5 Wings of Fire books and the next Melanie Martinez album and I'm going to my dad's this weekend and I'm gonna play Undertale hopefully and I'm really dizzy and I don't know if I'm tired or not and I need to rp again and go to school and see Dania and Ivy again and fangirl with Orion and stuff and what if like a killer doll gets into our house and only kills me then drags my body out and nobody finds it oh god I need Toriel here to comfort me but Undertale characters aren't real and oh god spare me I wish I didn't have anxiety oh look its Sammy but what if I pet him and then he dies and what if whatever living thing I touch dies oh goodness and I never get to come out to my mom and my friends and family only 4PINKWALLS knows about this and my art never improves and bye I need to stop freaking out

Wow I feel better after I wrote this