fast food ↠ joshler ✔

8

"josh!" tyler screeched (literally) (like a pterodactyl) while walking inside, "what the fuck is wrong with you?"

josh looked up from behind his huge bag of burger king at his red-faced boyfriend, raising an eyebrow. "come on, you got a raise or something didn't you? see, i helped!"

"it's not the effect that matters, it's the intention! you were obviously trying to get me fired, you... you... dickweed!" tyler shouted, smiling proudly at the insult.

"but you didn't!" josh justified himself.

"and anyway- brendon took a picture and uploaded it to tumblr dot com! it got two notes! well one was from his mom but the other one was a stranger!"

"oh please, tyler it was fine," josh prompted, "anyway, want a Fry™ from burger king?"

tyler staggered backwards dramatically, a hand over his heart. "who the hell do you think i am? accepting food from a rival chain? i'm a loyal person, josh. too loyal for your garbage."

"what's wrong with burger king? Burger King is an American global chain of hamburger fast food restaurants. Headquartered in the unincorporated area of Miami-Dade County, Florida, the company was founded in 1953 as InstaBurger King, a Jacksonville, Florida-based restaurant chain."

"i will not buy fries from the enemy. and another thing, hypocrite; what's wrong with wendy's?" tyler asked, getting all up in josh's face.

josh took in a sharp breath, "i... i was hun- it was hot outside and, ugh just go read chapter 2. it's too sad to repeat. i'll go get the tissues for you."

"chapter 2 of what? being a bitch for dummies?"

"shit," josh breathed in defeat, "nice burn. but no, you don't want to hear it. i was hungry. really hungry."

"well, guess what, josh? i don't give a shit about your 'hunger' or your 'will to live' or your 'needs for survival.' go talk to customer service about that. just leave me alone while i'm at work!" tyler shouted, having no idea where all these insults were coming from since he's usually super uncreative.

"i am simply appalled. it's your kind who put me through the pain, you... you're the, um, the dickweed. yeah. dick drugs. take that."

tyler looked at josh, disappointment in his eyes. "when i said, being a bitch for dummies, it was just trying to insult you by calling you dumb even though i didn't think you were. god, was i wrong. you are officially the stupidest person i've ever met, and i know brendon!"

jsoh rolled his eyes, "come on man, get newer, more creative insults. that's the exact same thing my mom said before she left. neither of my parents were even there when i was born, man."

tyler stared at josh, raising an eyebrow. "congratulations, you played yourself. i literally have no idea how to respond to that. you literally just roasted yourself. what is wrong with you?"

"it's funny how you're asking me that when you literally work at a wendy's."

"wendy's is a job. it is where i work. you are a person and you are literally insane. what happened? did you parents die in a wendy's or something?"