His Broken Heart

Forgive Me

A broken heart is a horrible thing, it can kill or it can destroy.

Magnus' POV.

I couldn't take my eyes off the broken form in front of me but why should I care? It's his own fault they are how they are, it isn't mine. I haven't done anything but love the broken angel in front of me. I can see the tears in his eyes but that doesn't make me feel anything but mad and that is the last thing I need. So I do what I think is right. I turn and walk away, leaving the broken and destroyed angel boy behind me as he cries over the love of his life walking out of his life forever.

------------two weeks later----------------

Alec's POV.

It feels like everything is numb, like I can't feel anything that I am without feeling that I can't breathe because he is somewhere in the world enjoying his life more without someone as ugly as me holding him back. I'm not messing up everything for him. He can go party and flirt with whoever, whenever, and I'll admit it hurts to know he doesn't miss me.

I look at my bathroom's closed door, knowing my blades are in there, that I could end everything by just sliding the cold unforgiving steel across my wrists and letting my crimson blood drip down onto the icy floor but what about my family? Would they grieve?

More than likely not, Iz has Simon and Jace has Clary. Mom and Dad wouldn't even blink an eye, they'd finally be rid of the disgrace of a son that deflowered himself with a downworlder. I can't take another second, how could I? When my own mother and father would have wanted me to die instead of my little brother? It hurts but they are right, it should have been me. If I was a better brother he'd still be okay.

I get up and walk over to my desk and sit at it, pulling eight pieces of paper and a pen out, I start writing.

Dear Jace,

I'm so sorry for what I've put you through, having someone like me as a parabatai. I should have tried harder to make you find someone better but as always I thought of myself and got you stuck in a bad partnership. You're a Herondale, you could have had anyone, but you chose to get stuck with the likes of me when we both know I'm not good for anything. I just hope that you can find someone better to fight with, to have your back, because you should live a long amazing life without me holding you back. I can't say how sorry I am that I couldn't be better. I should have been and I'm sorry.

With all my love, Alexander Lightwood

Dear Isabelle,

I'm so sorry for not being a better big brother and not protecting you better. I wasn't there when you needed me the most, it wasn't your fault that Max died. I'm so sorry I didn't stop him, it is my fault that this is happening and I want you to know that I love you and that I want this.

With all my love, your brother Alexander Lightwood

Dear Clary,

When I first met you I hated your guts. I'm better now, I don't hate you. I want you to live a long life with my brother Jace make him happy like I know you will. I couldn't, I wasn't there like I should have been. I should have been better but I wasn't. You can fix what I broke, I'm sorry I have been a jerk the last few years but I hope you can learn to forgive me.

Yours truly, Alexander Lightwood

Dear Simon,

I hated you at first for not only taking my sister but being open about what you wanted, like I could never be. I don't mean to come off like a jerk, that's just how I was raised. To not depend on my emotions so I kind of destroyed them but I take the blame for how I am, it's not anyone's fault but my own. Take care of my sister and keep her safe like I never could, love her like she deserves to be loved. I hope you and her have a great life together.