➵ yoongi
i couldn't sleep. i stared at the tile ceiling, not being able to stop thinking about the argument between jimin and i last night. i was worried it would ruin our friendship; he was all i had. sure, namjoon was a great friend, but jimin and i had gotten impossibly close in only two years.
before, i'd taken jimin for granted. he cared for me in a way no one else ever really had. he was my best friend who had seen all the shit that came with being friends with me, and stuck around. he had stayed by my side despite knowing i'd caused the death of my brother.
i remembered how one night namjoon and i went out, for my twenty first birthday, and drank enough to not remember what we did that night. the next morning i got extremely sick, and jimin had stayed kneeling beside me on the bathroom floor while i cried pathetically into the toilet about how much i hated myself. god, i was selfish, wasn't i? self-hatred was creeping up on me, and for once it seemed justified, because i was finally realizing what a horrible person i was.
i had broken my promise, getting high while knowing i had been placed in charge by our parents to drive yoonho and myself home. it was my fault. i got tired while i was driving and didn't pull over, killing my brother in my stupidity. it was my fault. i abandoned my grieving parents, full of guilt and sadness, to start over in a different city, where i proceeded to fall into a cycle of drinking myself into oblivion while my best friend cleaned up after my pathetic ass. it was all my fault.
i sat straight up, tears pooling in my eyes. i glanced around the empty room. monitors beeped, the constant noise somewhat reassuring.
my hand reached out to fumble for the handle of the drawer of the table by my bedside. finally i managed to contort my arm enough to pull it open, the awkward angle only leaving me with a sore forearm. my hand emerged with my cell phone that i desperately prayed wasn't dead.
i pressed the power button, watching in hope as the screen came awake. luckily i'd turned my phone off all the way before deciding to kill myself. i'd saved my battery.
to: namjoon🎧
me: hey you awake? i need someone to talk to
namjoon🎧: yeah i'm just working on stuff what's up
me: oh just, can't stop thinking about that fight i had with jimin
me: i regret so much
namjoon🎧: aw hyung don't beat yourself up about it i'm sure it'll work itself out
me: no you don't get it
me: i think i fucked up big time
namjoon🎧: what exactly happened between you two?
me: jimin didn't tell you?
namjoon🎧: didn't know he was supposed to
me: aish i don't wanna get into it all in text
namjoon🎧: okay hold on
namjoon🎧: jin's calling me one sec
i decided to scroll through my camera roll while i waited for namjoon to text back. i deleted a couple old, bad quality pictures i'd forgotten to delete, and then i stumbled upon one that brought a smile to my face.
i was so lost in staring at the picture that i barely heard a knock at my door. "h-hyung?" my head shot up at the voice, and my eyes widened when i saw the male slowly entering my room.
"hoseokie," i breathed out, in disbelief. "i...," my voice shook with emotion, and hoseok rushed over to me, sensing that i needed comfort. he sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled me into his chest, arms wrapping around me just like they used to.
"i've missed you so much hyung." hoseok's voice was barely above a whisper, but he said it right into my ear so i heard him fine. i nodded harshly, feeling my eyes welling up with tears.
"me too, seokie. so much."
hoseok pulled away after a while, and held my shoulders while looking into my eyes. "what happened to you?" he shook his head, rubbing my arms. "so i met your little boyfriend."
i jerked my head up, eyes wide. "b-boyfriend?"
hoseok giggled. "i'm just messing with you. i'm talking about jimin." i exhaled, and let a small smile appear on my face.
suddenly, there was a tap on the glass of the window. i tore my eyes from hoseok, and whipped my head to the side, slightly frightened of who could possibly be outside. wasn't my room on the second floor?
leaving hoseok on the bed, i slid my pale legs out of the sheets, creeping towards the window. slowly i peered outside, my heart in my throat.
a face popped up, making me involuntarily squeak and jump back from the windowsill. "what? what is it?" hoseok asked, rushing over to me. i just pointed at the window, unable to string together a coherent sentence.
he immediately undid the lock and slid it open, the space just wide enough for him to climb through. "namjoon, what the hell are you doing?" hoseok asked, his tone incredulous.
namjoon ignored hoseok, sliding his tall frame through the window. once inside, he placed his hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eyes for a few moments that felt like hours. then, he engulfed me in his arms, hugging me tight. "god, yoongi hyung. you're so dumb," he murmured.
"i know," i replied, tears leaking from my eyes.
hoseok coughed. "i'll just pretend you aren't here out of visiting hours. just this once, though, okay?" he sent us a smile before walking out and leaving us alone.
namjoon led me back to the bed, sitting down beside me as i crawled back under the covers. he held my hand and it wasn't romantic, just comforting.
"i screwed up big time, joon. i... i don't know if i can fix it this time."
"i'm sure whatever happened between you won't ruin your friendship. but, what exactly happened?"
"well, after you guys left, jimin started yelling at me saying that there was no excuse for what i did, and all this. but..." i trailed off, biting down hard on my lower lip.
"but what?" namjoon prompted me.
"he...he told me that i need help, and that it won't be coming from him anymore."
namjoon's face softened, and he pulled me towards him, so that i was sitting with his arms around me and my head was leaning on his chest.
"i...i'm just really scared i lost him for good, namjoon. you know, he was the first person i met when i moved here who was actually nice to me. he let me move in with him while barely knowing me, and when he found out about my past and shit, he didn't care. jimin stayed. he stayed with me this whole time, while i've been an idiot and hurt him over and over, and he's been nothing short of a best friend. fuck, i don't deserve park jimin."
namjoon chuckled. "none of us do, hyung. he's too good for any of us."
i smiled weakly. just then, namjoon patted my bare leg, and helped me stand. "it sounds like you need to repair this friendship. come on."
"where are we going?" i stared at him, confused.
"i'm taking you to jimin. duh." namjoon said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"do you know where he is?"
"yeah, i called him but he told me he's staying with taehyung."
"i feel like a fugitive," i said as he helped me climb out the window. as it turned out there was a huge tree right beside my window, so namjoon and i were able to jump right onto a branch and climb down to the ground.
he led me to his car, and soon we were off into the night.
