Serendipity and Sorrow

2nd Best

All my life I've lived this way

Not by choice of course

Cause who would knowingly choose to be 2nd best?

Growing up, my friends were close

But one by one they left and I was alone

What does someone do when that happens?

They cry and find new ones

They twist their personality to become what others want

Because they don't want to feel the pain of losing them again

But I was too late to find new ones

Everyone already had their number ones

Leaving me as the 2nd choice

A year or two, maybe even three, went by

I was never a priority

8th grade was over, and in came a new school

In other words, a new opportunity to maybe be loved again

And I was, especially by one

She became my priority and I was hers

Once again, my friends were close

A year is what it took for me to feel it wearing off

Already I feel the seperation

She joined a club, made friends who shared more common interests

Now whenever we talk, it's short and brief

And they are there as well

Her new priorities

I thought it was bad to be 2nd best to everyone

But I found it felt worse to have that one person to put me below everyone

I'm no longer even a choice

Today I cried, for everyone I thought cared

Maybe they aren't worth it

Maybe friends is a stupid concept

But maybe there is something wrong with me

I've been told many things as people decided to leave me

"I feel forced to be friends with you."

"You got boring."

"I found someone better than you will ever be."

But none of them hurt more than no words at all

What is the reason now?

Maybe I will be better off on my own

Maybe I shouldn't let myself be second best anymore

Maybe I shouldn't give anyone the opportunity to make me one