lies ↬ fillie

six

— friendly love

i counted the days on my fingers again. i stopped at seven. i don't even have enough fingers to count the days that finn and i haven't hung out. it was a depressing thought, really, as finn and i had never gone more than two days without hanging out at some point.

i blamed iris. really, you'd think it's childish of me to say that, and to some extent it is. but trust me, it really is because of her.

i guess i don't blame her, being finn's girlfriend and all. but that night at the party still has me shaken up a little, and a girl needs to hang out with her best friend once in a while.

every time finn and i had tried to get together, iris had always come up with last minute plans that finn just went along with.

hopefully today was the day that finn and i could finally hang out, without iris interfering. we were supposed to go to the arcade to check out one of the new games that had been put in there. the dragon's lair, i think it's called.

i sat on the bench outside of the front entrance to the school, waiting for him to walk out. i spotted him before he spotted me, as i could see a puff of black hair over the tops of the heads of all the other students. he finally saw me, i think, because he started walking in my direction after several minutes of wondering around.

"hey, mills! ready to go to the arcade?" he smiled. i had noticed his teeth were getting straighter. i guess the invisalign was working. he held his hand out to me. i took it, letting him help me up.

"ready as ever." he smiled again, meeting my stare. i missed his eyes. yes, they were your generic brown eyes, but there was something about them that made them different from mine, or the kid next door's. they had this warmth to them, and sometimes when he'd get excited, they'd get yellow around the pupil. i had never seen eyes like his before. i think that's what makes them special too. knowing that there's nothing else like that makes you want to cherish them and appreciate them a bit more.

"finn!" a voice called from behind us. an all too familiar voice. finn turned around.

"iris? what do you need?" finn sounded sweet, but there was an undertone of annoyance on the last word.

iris took a piece of the bubblegum in her mouth, twisting it around her finger. "finn!" she whined, stretching out his name in her mouth. "we were supposed to go to the arcade today." she pouted.

finn shook his head. "iris, we were going to go tomorrow..." he trailed off as iris' frown got deeper.

"it was today," iris looked up at finn, eyes wide. "unless, you don't want to spend time with me?"

finn sighed. i could tell he was debating on who to stay with. i wanted him to pick me. of course i did. but i knew that he wouldn't. he couldn't. so i made the decision before he could.

"it's okay," i tried to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal. i shrugged. "you can go finn." i gave him a weak smile. "another time?"

"yeah.." finn looked at his feet. i know he felt bad. we stood in an awkward silence until iris grabbed his hand.

"c'mon finn!" she started to drag him away. he followed, but turned his head towards me once more.

"i'll be over at ten," he mouthed. "okay?" he grinned at me.

i smiled. "okay."

—

i sat on my bed, watching time tick by.

9:57

i looked in the mirror and gasped to myself. my hair was sticking out all over the place. i glanced at the clock by my bedstand.

9:58

i started to comb through my hair as a heard a tapping noise from the window. i looked back to my mirror, my hair still looking a mess. i ran my fingers through it before hurrying to my window to slide it open.

finn poked his head through the window. he smiled. he held his hand out. i grabbed it and pulled him inside, closing the window behind me. he dusted himself off and sat on the edge of my bed before speaking.

"millie." he sighed. "i feel like i never see you anymore."

i huffed out a stiff laugh. "probably," i tucked my hair behind my ear and leaned against my dresser, crossing my arms across my chest. "because you don't."

finn shook his head and looked down at the floor. "i know mills. i miss you. a lot." he grinned. i couldn't help but smile. his smiles were contagious. i walked across my room to go sit next to him. he cleared his throat before looking back at me.

"i'm going to tell you something. i hope it doesn't seem wrong. tell me if it sounds wrong. i don't want it to-"

"finn." i laid my hand on his arm. "just tell me." he looked at his feet and inhaled, wringing his hands together, like he always did when he was nervous.

"okay." he blinked. "it's just that...i know i should enjoy hanging out with iris. we're," he paused. "dating. but it's just that she always makes the plans. it's never me who does. anytime i do, she always makes up some excuse as to why she can't." he looked at me with those big, brown eyes.

"then tell her." i shrugged. i wanted to tell him that he deserved better. not even saying he deserved someone like me! just someone better than her. "if she really likes you, finn, she'll respect the fact that you want to make the plans sometimes." his eyes widened and his face filled with confusion.

"it's that simple?" finn raised an eyebrow.

i nodded. "it's really just that simple."

"huh."

we stared at each other for a few more seconds before i cleared my throat. "well, is that all you came for?"

"i would've came to hang out, but considering it's almost eleven, i think i should go." he frowned. "i'll see you later?"

"of course." i grinned before opening the window back up. finn started to climb out, but paused. he turned around to face me.

"thanks mills. i can always count on you. i love you." he smiled. i returned his smile with an even bigger one, no need for words to be said. i waved as he turned back around and left. i closed the window and shut the blinds.

i leaned backward into my bed.

"what's the point in saying you love me like a friend?"

—

it's literally been so long since i updated i am SO SORRY! but i promise i'll get back into the hang of things. also i didn't proof read. as always.

also, here we go again with a new book! it's about richie tozier, who is my absolute favorite loser :)