Why I'm Gone

A/N

"I do not believe that suicide is a choice."

"I believe it is an exit."

"Suicide is not something to be taken lightly. We do not choose it to draw attention to ourselves for selfish reasons. We do not do it because we are trying to be selfish. We do not do it because we believe that it is something to romanticize and fantasize."

"Our mind and perspective are constricted so severely that we cannot see any other choice than that one exit we see."

"It's like a burning building. The flames and the smoke burn our eyes and sear our throats. It burns us and tortures us as we try so very hard to scream for help. But the more we scream the more the smoke and the fire scorches our lungs."

"Wherever we turn there is an inferno just roaring to suffocate us, and drag us into a fiery hell. Whatever we scream goes unnoticed in the fire and ash that roars in a hurricane around us. And suicide? That is like the window we see that will lead us out. A window that is a hundred feet from the pavement below."

"I do not believe suicide is much of a choice, when it is the only one we can see besides the flames that desire to kill us."

"Yes, we can choose to hang on and burn there. Suffering in agony with nothing else but that window. But the flames, the ash, and the smoke, it causes us such agony and pain that we can only take that one option: that window."

"And so we jump out of it, believing that that fall is much better than hanging on in that hell we call our minds or life."

"We don't choose it because we cry for attention, or that we are trying to hurt others. We do not choose it because we are fantasizing and romanticizing it. We choose it, because we see no other options."

"Sometimes someone saves us from that hell. Sometimes we find ourselves a person who has come into that burning building to help us, and we cling to them. We grab onto them like children grabbing their mother in the frightening night."

"Sometimes they burn with us, sometimes they help us escape, and sometimes they pry us off because they are burning in the hell that they entered to save us."

"And sometimes society boards up the doors and windows, sealing us in. Dooming is to that fate."

"Do see what I'm saying?"

"For us, it's like choosing between your own flesh burning and your blood boiling in your veins, or that window you can jump out of to stop all that pain."

"Do you understand?"

"I do not think suicide is much of a choice, if it the only one you see."

-Elaina V. A.