My Saving Grace

Chapter 19

When I got home later that night, I went to go take a nice, long shower, changing into my comfy oversized college tshirt and cotton shorts afterwards. Although I was drained from work, I felt much too occupied to fall asleep now.

Making my way towards the wine cooler, I reached down for a bottle of Merlot and poured a generous amount into a glass before heading out onto the balcony. A soft glowing light painted the sky, hinting at the total darkness soon to come.

I sat down on one of the chairs, tucking my legs beneath me as I took a sip of my wine. The air was still, unlike my mind which currently was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions.

Seeing Antonio again after all these long weeks spent missing him had been difficult, especially when he'd shut the door in my face the way he did, but it'd also further solidifed my desire to be with him. I just needed to break down the barriers he'd put up where Veronica was concerned.

We'd barely spoken to each other tonight, however, I did manage to learn something new. He'd claimed that whatever had gone on between the two of them had been entirely his fault.

...And because of that, he wasn't willing or able to be in a relationship with me.

Right now, just remembering his exact words hurt like an open wound, but I refused to give up. He'd even admitted that there was something between us. Tilting my glass up, I downed its contents in one large gulp to numb the pain, wincing slightly at the burning sensation on my tongue.

With weary eyes, I stared straight ahead at the horizon, trying to piece together the bits of information I'd already known about Antonio. I thought back to the night I'd first realized I was falling for him, after we'd eaten dinner at that Italian restaurant, Angelini Osteria.

And then there was Signora Moretti, the sweet, loveable hostess who Antonio had said was like a mother to him. She'd told me something about him that night, and I knitted my brows together in concentration, trying to remember what it'd been.

"He's been through a lot in his life and made some unforgettable mistakes. But his heart is pure."

That was it. Her exact words. She'd said them when Antonio had to go use the restroom.

I sat up straighter in my seat, clutching the armrests as my heart beat rapidly in my chest. I might not know much about the context of the situation at the moment, but I did know that what Antonio had done in the past must have been horrible.

Or more precisely, what he'd done to Veronica.

And I had to admit, the thought was rather unsettling...terrifying, even.

Feeling slightly disoriented, I stood up and walked back inside to rinse my glass before heading into my bedroom. While brushing my teeth, I tried hinting at things Antonio could have done that were so "unforgettable."

But besides cheating, what else was there?

All this speculating was getting me nowhere; it was up to Antonio now. Either he would finally reveal his past with Veronica, so we could have a chance at moving forward, or he would continue avoiding me.

And God knows I wanted the former.

***

"Sophia, spill it," Ella said to me as we were eating half apps with Peter the following Friday night.

"Spill what?", I asked.

"Something's been going on with you for quite some time now...but you won't tell us."