It's just a crush [SkyMU fanfiction]

chap twenty-one 'let there be fire'

It's been four weeks, a whole month since Jason went away. All I have done is blame myself, if I had paid more attention to him. Then maybe this wouldn't have had to happen. Maybe he'd be okay, and with me. It was always my fault, I angered Jason the first time we broke up. That was my fault. I was the one who caused the bad things. I broke Mitch and Jerome up. I made Ty and his girlfriend hate each other. I drove Ian and his away. It was all me. The problem was me. Maybe if I exterminated the problem then everything would be okay. If I exterminated myself, I say it like I was a pest. Because I am a pest. I am just a pest.

Four weeks ago.

I woke up next to Jason, as always. I smiled and kissed his cheek before rolling out of bed and getting dressed. Jason looked at me, just smiling. "What?" I asked, rolling my eyes as I threw my shirt on. "That picnic was amazing Adam. I love you, and it. And everything. I love everything." He happily squealed. I laughed, "You really are as excitable as a dog." I teased, throwing some clothes at him. "Am not." He pouted.

"Did you see Ty's Facebook status?" Jason smiled. I shook my head, "Nope. What did the little emo do?" I question, pulling Jason towards me. "He's in a relationship! With Gloria!" He proudly exclaimed. Ty walked into our room, "I heard mention of my girlfriend." He smiled his cheeky toothy smile. "Someone's fucking happy." I giggled. Ty nodded, "I think I finally understand how you two felt when you met. Like it was meant to be! Like it was, fate." He explained, looking at us two. I turned my head to see Jason smiling and blushing. "Actually, when I first heard of Jason. I thought he was a geeky twink." I teased, Jason looked at me angrily. "I am not a geek!" He protested. Ty walked out of the room; shutting the door. Leaving us to be us. Jason looked legitimately angry. "You okay?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "You know how I feel about being called a geek. Nerd sure, but. You remember what everyone said." He groaned, storming out of my room into his old one.

I ran a hand through my mess of hair. I forgot, when we were younger everyone made fun of Jason. Calling him a geek, he couldn't stand it. It lead him to the edge, he didn't eat, he didn't go to school. He just didn't do anything really. It was like he had stopped existing. He was a shell of a person. How could I have forgotten, I was a horrible person. What the fuck was wrong with me. I made the worst mistake I possibly could have made. Out of all the names I teased him with, I knew this on was crossing the line. It was hard, having to walk over egg shells all of the time. Jason could get pretty emotional.

I walked to Jason's room and let myself in. He was hugging Brice, he looked sad. "You okay?" I asked sitting down next to him as he let go of Brice. "You fucked up Adam." Brice shrugged before walking out of the room. "Jason- you can't seriously be taking this so far!" I laughed. "What if I am!" He retorted. "Don't be a fucking idiot Jason, I made a mistake. I'm sorry, you're blowing this out of proportion." I argued. "So now I'm a fucking idiot?" He yelled, looking at me with his sad puppy eyes. "No, no just. Jason don't make this into what it doesn't have to be." I sighed. But he just shook his head, "No I'm tired. I'm tired of you being able to say and do whatever you want. And me having to sit there dealing with it. I'm tired of you always taking control, I do exist too. I am alive too Adam," He yelled once more. "J-Jason." I stuttered. "Just fuck off." He groaned. "What? So that's it! That's all you have to say for yourself?" I spat. "No, I also have to say I'm breaking up with you." He hissed. My heart broke there and then, "Fine! Do whatever the fuck you want! I don't give a shit! I don't give a shit!" I yelled twice as loud, before slamming the door behind me. "What happened?" Mitch asked. "Fuck off Canadian." I shrugged him off walking into my room and locking the door.

Tears streamed down my face, he was like everyone else. Just like Dawn, I gave then both the world. And they shoved it in my face for no reason. I walked to my dresser, bringing out a small wooden box. Inside was a lighter, cigarettes, anti-depressants and blades. I pulled out my blades and lighters. I positioned my wrist above the lighter. "Let there be fire." I whispered to myself as I let the flame burn my flesh.

--

Woah. Things will get happier. But don't try that at home. Burning yourself intentionally and doing shit like that ain't good. Trust me. If you do do stuff like that don't. Because I think you're rad. But yes, we need that depressing twist in the story. Now you have to wait and watch it play out. Because you know what will happen, but not how.

Unedited.
Lashton out.