I Am Full [A Bill Cipher Fanfiction]

Chapter Four; Dance On the Clouds and I Will Paint the Sky

I was eager to get my day over with, I was ready to sleep even when I wasn't tired, or would rather be awake doing something else. I was so eager that when I finished my shift at five today I drove home quickly and ran up the hardwood steps to my room. I didn't stop to look out my window, and I didn't bother to take off my shoes. I just jumped onto my bed, and closed my eyes.

The darkness behind my eyelids was mocking me in a sick way. Figures danced and shapes appeared in nonexistent ways. I was eager to sleep, but I wasn't tired. If I close my eyes for a long enough time, maybe I will sleep? Does that work? If I just hope and hope and hope and keep my eyes closed I'll suddenly be asleep..?

Wait,

Why am I so eager to sleep? I've yearned for its embrace all day, sleep was all I thought of. I failed to notice the people near me and the sky. I didn't look at the trees that swayed in the wind. I opened my eyes to see the sun was letting orange light into my room... I didn't even sit at my window to look at the sun set. It didn't even cross my mind. I let out a defeated sigh and sat up, my mind seemed more cleared as if I've talked myself into living today instead of rushing it.

My stomach also growled as I felt this feeling. I haven't ate all day and it's finally hitting me. I think mom is gonna be home in another hour and half, two hours at most. I can cook for her, or better yet, I can order pizza for her.

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I laid the boxes of pizza down on the counter. Pulling out a piece of Supreme and chomping into it. I am so glad I got pizza. This was an extremely good investment. I suddenly heard a jiggle of the door knob before the door was thrown open amd mom stepped in the kitchen. She was... also holding pizza boxes.

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Mom and I stood on either side of the pile of six pizza boxes as we ate away and conversed. I got excited when I yawned and was beginning to get sleepy. Mom saw how tired I was getting and decided she would put up the pizza, no matter how many times I told her I could help, she was dead set on doing it on her own. I was happy to be able to sleep, maybe I'll finally have a dream I can remember.

I did all my before-bed time chores and then crawled into my bed, snoring the moment my head hit the pillow.

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I stood in the middle of a forest, except it was just me. Where was Kira? I know   she's asleep or I wouldn't be here... I began to float around before I heard soft humming, I turned to see a large field of various flowers, and in the middle sat Kita, picking them and trying to entertwine them together. I floated over to her quickly and she looked up as I came into view. She smiled a bright smile, her freckled cheeks glew, amd her dark brown wavy hair was brought out by the sun beyond the horizon, shining through tree tops and hitting her in a magnificent way.

I sat down in front of her and she dropped her mess of flowers, taking my hands instead. "Bill," she smiled," would you like to make flower crowns with me?"  I felt my heart jump in response and I startes.pivking flowers. "I would love to. Here, I'll make you one, my dear," I smiled as I successfully intertwined the flowers together and made a crown which I placed on her head. "You seem different today."

I rose an eyebrow in response as I noticed her attire. A baby blue, loose-fitting dress with a sweetheart neckline. "I feel as if you're more open, what happens to make you in such a good mood?" She asked, continuing to try to make her own flower crown. "Ever since you left I've been waiting for you, and now you're finally here," I replied, not realizing how embarrassed I was to say that aloud until it was too late and I had to avert my eyes as a small blush appeared on my face.

She crawled over to me and practically fell into my chest, giving me a tight hug. I felt my chest pound, and I put a hand on her shoulder to kind of hug her back. "Thank you. You always make my dreams so sweet," she whispered, no, I had to mistaken her words. She wouldn't of said something like that to me. "What?" I asked, hoping she would repeat what I heard. "Look at that!" She cheered suddenly as large, pink, fluffy clouds appeared in the sky.

"Look at how beautiful they are," she cooed in a soft voice, could she talk to me in that voice..? "This may be silly, but I've always wished I could dance on the clouds. I also always wished I could paint the sky the beautiful sunset and sunrise colors. So beautiful it is... I wish I could be responsible for it." She said in a sad, yearning voice. "Do you remember how I taught you to fly?" I whispered, she nodded her head against my chest.

"I could show you how to stand on the clouds. I may not know how to paint the sky, but I can dance." I said, she shifted so she was looking up at me, her eyes were beginning to turn bright blue again, but in a more subtle way. She smiled widely and excitedly sat up. "Then let's do it!" She exclaimed happily. I pushed myself off the ground and began to float, offering her my hand. She gladly took it and I watched as she stepped up from the ground and began to float herself.

I felt so much pride as I pulled her along to the sky. I was excited to know what would happen next. This excitement encouraged me to fly even faster, I could hear Kira giggling off to the side as we broke through a cloud. I lowered myself onto the cloud and held both her hands. "You have to move slowly and be gentle when you step," I said to her as she stepped down onto the poofy cloud. "Wow..." she whispered as she took a few steps around and then looked up at the sky above us.

I watched as she seemed to get lost in the sky, a few expressions of confusion crossed her face. "Is.. something wrong?" I asked her, she shrugged her shoulders. "I noticed that no matter what, the sky is always blue. It's never colorful," she said as she continued to gaze into the sky. I wish I knew how to paint it. I would teach her if I could... "Maybe if I.." she put out an arm and drug her hand down her arm starting from the palm, as she reached here forearm she dragged the hand across the sky. I watched as the blue started to shift into shades of purple.

I took a step back in shock as she began to slowly raise her arms and drag them across the horizon where the sun was setiing, colors of orange and red began to appear. Kira began to twirl, dancing beautifully across the clouds. I felt as if I was watching a ballerina preform, and I couldn't tell if I wanted to watch her dance or watch as the sky changed colors. She seemed so intense and intimate with her dancing she twirled and jumped and balanced, and the colors I saw before started to appear again.

Kira began to get closer and closer to me, a part of me wanted to catch her. I wanted to hold onto her and not let go, Kira began to twirl across the clouds, closer and closer until.. I grabbed her by the waist and dipped her down. She panted as she looked into my eyes. "Such a beautiful blue.." I whispered as I moved in for a kiss, she put a hand on my cheek and closed her eyes, our lips almost met but suddenly I was met by nothing. I opened my eyes to see I was trapped in the back of her mind again.

I felt anger and desperation, I let out a yell of anger, or maybe it was sadness, and I kicked the door to an old memory. I fell to the floor panting ad I realized how much energy I wasted, and I felt my eyes begin to water. What's wrong with me? Why am I acting like this? I slammed a fist against the floor and ran a hand through my hair.

What's wrong with me...