My Dirty Little Secret

Chapter one

When Philip opened the door he knew the person all too well. His social worker. Heather was her name. "Good morning Philip. May I come in?" He stepped to the side letting her in. "Is Anne awake yet?" She asked sitting down on their old slightly smoke smelled couch. "Uh..no. Not yet. What's going on why are you here?" He didn't mean to sound rude, but he wanted to know.

"Well, I have a court order." Philip began to frown "court order for what?" Anne walked in on their conversation. "Anne, hi, good morning." Heather tried to avoid his question. "Heather, answer him" she sat back down and faced the boy. "The court order is...for me to take Philip and put him in a foster house." When she finished her sentence Anne started crying and Philip was speechless.

"Wha-what do you mean? Why?" He exclaimed "Anne, the court ruled you as an unfit mother. So Philip has to be put with a family immediately." Philip ran up to his mother giving her a hug, a hug he doesn't want to let go of. "Mom, don't let them take me, please mom don't." He turned to face Heather "my mom is not unfit. She has struggled, yes, but what mother hasn't."

Heather was one of the good social workers, from the countless ones he's had CPS finally gave him a good one. She only did what she was told, she didn't make up lies the the first one he had. She didn't blame his mother like the third one had. She didn't accuse him of lying like the second one had. This is Philip's fourth social worker. He liked her. She was even able to change the courts mind twice and he got to stay a year longer.

Philip had a rough fifteen years of life. With his moms drug abuse and her countless boyfriends. Anne turned to drugs when Philip's father walked out on them when he was only three years old. A year after that she got her first boyfriend. He was ok, not the best. Her second boyfriend was abusive. Philip was seven. He would beat Anne when she wouldn't take drugs with him or if she told him no.

Her last boyfriend Philip was ten. His name was Steven. This name burns a hole in the pit of Philip's stomach whenever he thinks of him. He would sneak into Philip's room at night, touch him, mess with him. One day while his mom was at work and Philip came Home from school he was there. He was drunk out of his mind. He was only twelve when it-the rape happened. The first time.

"Philip I'm sorry, but with the history with your mom and the drugs and the rape-" Philip let go of his mother "that's not fair. Don't say that. You don't get to say that." More tears came down Anne's face, just hearing those words about her. "But I was able to find a good home. It's not in the city, but I've met the family and their really nice." Philip had to be strong for his mom. "If I go do I get to see my mom?" Heather walked a little closer "possibly. But only if Anne goes to rehab and does well."

Anne spoke up for the first time in twenty minutes "tell me more about this family." She said as she lit a cigarette. "Well the wife's name is Helen Torrance and the husbands name is Gabe Caldwell. Helen is the sheriff of the town and Gabe is the towns  veterinarian." Philip gave a look "town?"

"Yea. The town is called Tívoli. It's a small town." Philip looked back at his mom. "How far away is this town?" Anne spoke up. "Uh.. it's at least an hour and a half away." I'm moving an hour an a half away. From my mom, school, friends, all while going into junior year.

This was the year I was supposed to be joining clubs and sports. Going to games and parties as an upper class man. As much as I like Heather why did she have to come now? Out of all the times. Why now? Why at all?

"How long does he have until he leaves?" Anne asks. "He has to get his transcripts and have his things packed by Friday." Today is Wednesday. I have to be gone in two days. Who knows how long I'll be gone?
"So how long will I be gone for?" I say finally calming down. "Honestly it all depends on Anne." I look at her confused. "What do you mean it's up to my mom?"

"Meaning, your mom has to decide when she's ready to go to rehab. To get better. For you."

"Mom. You have to get better. If not for me then for you. Please mom. I don't want to stay there. Ok."

Anne doesn't say a word. She just looks down like she's ashamed. I know my mom. I know she loves me, but I also know she loves her drugs just as much. She does what she can get her hands on. Anything she can find heroine, weed, coke, meth. I would even try and hide them or throw them out or even sell them to get money. It's worked a few times but, it always seems to end up back in the house.

Heather stayed longer than expected. She ended up leaving around four. She gave us some papers to fill out, pretty much saying that we understand what's about to happen in the next two days. Usually when my mom is upset she either goes out and stays late, or she just gets high. Tonight she went out, left me here to find something to eat, knowing good an well we don't have shit in this house. I usually go without eating anyway. When I do get money for food it's nothing special, just some things from the convenient store.

Lucky for me I saved some bags of chips for days like these. It's getting later by the minute. My mom still gone at almost midnight. I always try and stay up for when she comes home. I don't make it always. Whenever she does come home, I release this breath that I hold which seems like forever.

I ended up falling asleep before she got home. I fell asleep on the couch watching some cartoon. I woke up only hearing the door unlock. When I checked my phone, the bright numbers read three thirty. "Mom. Do have any idea what time it is?" I just blurt out without even realizing it. "Philip. I'm sorry. I just needed to clear my head and think." She says. I open my mouth again "are you serious mom? You were gone all night." But I didn't stop there "you know, this-this is why I'm being sent away. You always come home late when your trying to 'clear your head' and not just coming home late, but high. Leaving me alone all night with no food." I yell slamming my bedroom door shut.

I can't believe I just did that, to my mom. She's gonna hate me, now she'll be happy that I'm gone. I've never done anything like that before, what is wrong with me. My mind is racing about what I just had done. I finally rush out of my room to find my mom so I could apologize. I find her fast asleep in the living room on the couch. I find an old blanket on the ground and pull it over her. Kneeling down I give her a small kiss on her temple "I'm so sorry mom, I-I didn't mean it." I say in a whisper near her ear. "I know baby. It's ok. I love you." She answers me back. I never knew how she did that. She'd be passed out but can still hear me. "I love you too mom."