My Dirty Little Secret

Chapter two

Friday. It's finally Friday. The day I tried so hard to avoid, for once. Today is the day that I'm moving away from my mom. All day yesterday me and my mom spent the day together, doing fun things. Going to sleep last night was hard. Knowing that it was my last night in my bed, in my room. I tried not to think so much into it. It's only temporary right?

Noon rolled around and my mom and I went to my now old school to get my transcripts we requested. "Philip, I'm so sad to see you go." One of my favorite teachers said to me. To be honest I was sad too, I couldn't even tell my friends; I don't have a phone but I have their numbers, I'll just call them when I can.

Back at my house I finished packing my things. Heather is supposed to be here in twenty minutes, so in the mean time I just watch tv with my mom. I'm soon interrupted by my thoughts all of 'what ifs'. What if they don't like me. What if the husband is like Steven. What if they send me back. What if I do like it there and I want to stay. What about my mom.

My thoughts leave my head when there's a knock at the door. I get up to answer "hi Philip, how are you?" Heather asks "I've been better." I stepped to the side letting her in once more. "Hello, Anne" my mom only gives a small faint smile. A smile she doesn't want to give. A smile that is in front of all pain, a smile that means nothing.

"Are you all packed and ready to go?" She says clasping her hands together. "Uh yea. Ready as I'll ever be. Oh and my transcripts are in this folder." I try not to sound sad while I speak, but it's hard. Knowing that I'm just leaving my mom to defend for herself, that's just something I would never do. But, I suck it up and push my feeling aside, I have to be strong for my mom.

"Alright Philip, you ready? We got a long drive a head of us." She reminds me. I turn to face my mom "mom. I have to go now ok-" she starts to cry. "Mom please don't cry. I'll be home sooner than you think. I love you" I finish as tears slip out my eyes. "I love you too." She says pulling me into a hug.

I grabbed two of my duffel bags and my mom grabbed my backpack throwing it over her shoulders with a box in her hands. Heather had my suitcase and rolled it out to her SUV. We filled the trunk with my bags, but I had my backpack with me. It has all my personal stuff in there. "Alright, its that time" my mom tries to speak all while holding back her tears "Philip, I promise I will try and get better ok" I nod in agreement. "This isn't goodbye, it's I'll see ya later."

Pulling out of the parking spot, I sit in the backseat waving to my mom. Speaking once more barely above a whisper "see ya later."

"Hey Philip, do you mind if I go grab something to eat. I'm starving." She laughs out. I don't know why but the thought of food makes my stomach growl out of nowhere. Probably because I haven't eaten a decent meal in days, maybe weeks. "Uh.. yea sure. Go ahead." I answer back. "What should I get? I'm thinking Freddy's, what do you think?" I don't know what I think. I've never had it before. "Yea. Sure."

We get out the car and go inside to order. Looking at the lit up menú, my eyes seem to be overwhelmed and I just stare straight at it. Heather notices "do you want something too?" I come out of my gaze "what..uh no thank you I'm ok." I force out a laugh. "Philip don't lie to me. It's ok. If your hungry tell me and I'll get you something. You don't have to be scared." She says this only because she saw me without my shirt once. I hated it. She saw my ugly skinny body, just 'skin and bones' as she would say. But she's dramatic, yes, you can see the indentations of my ribs and spine, but I'm fine.

"You don't have to waste your money on me."

"Philip, spending money on you isn't wasteful."

I finally give in and I'm thankful for the offer. Honestly if she didn't I probably would have starred at her eating.

"Thank you." I say. She gives me a smile and nudges my arm. "So what do you want"

"Uh I'll just take some fries."

She give me a look like she knows I'm lying. "Philip what did I tell you, you want something you tell me. There's nothing to big or to small. Oh you gotta try the onion rings and fry sauce. You won't regret it."

"Welcome to Freddy's, may I take your order" the cashier says. Heather spoke first.

"Hi, can I get a chicken tender combo with onion rings instead of fries with fry sauce and a Mountain Dew please." The cashier types it into the register and she then looks at me. "Uh can I get a double bacon steak burger with onion rings and fry sauce with a sweet tea please."

Heather gave him a look. "What?" Philip asked. "Nothing. I'm just proud of you."

"Why?"

"Because you're being incredibly strong and I admire you for it."

"Thanks. I kinda have no choice right."

"Also I'm happy I have someone where I can be fat and eat like a pig in front of." She chucked out. I tried so hard not to laugh but failed. "Well thank you for choosing me!"

We sat at our booth eating in silence. But, let me just say that she wasn't lying when she said she could eat. I chuckled only in my mind. But I couldn't blame her, I was smashing myself.

"That was really good. Thank you so much" I said walking back to the car. "Of course" she always gives me this warm smile that never ceases to fail.

When I get back in the car I decide to sit in the front. Leaving the city and pulling out onto the highway she turns on the radio. It was some new pop song, I think it was called 'issues'. It was a good song, but it was short and Heather knew every word to it. "I like how you know every word" I chuckle. In response she faces me and sings using hand gestures. 

I love how comfortable she is with me, even though the others sucked they would be careful around me. Like I was damaged. Like I was broken. Heather made me feel like it was okay to do things. Things like talk about my feelings, sing and dance; just be myself without the whole rape, drug abuse bull shit everyone pulls on me.

Driving on the broken highway with cracks and potholes, the radio still plays quietly in the background. We just talk about us, life, school, relationships. Even though I know she's not supposed to talk about her personal life she does, only with me though. I trust her and she trusts me, so I have to try in this ridiculously small town, I can't give up, my mom is counting on me.