POWER

Last Chapters:::(BOOK 3) Chapter 33 - One boy, a thousand feelings - 8

Incomplete Kiss

Feeling used
But I'm
Still missing you
And I can't
See the end of this
Just wanna feel your kiss
Against my lips
And now all this time
Is passing by
But I still can't seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need you

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want him, you need him
And I'll never be him

::: Gnash

I had avoided staying at home, and my family for long enough.

I was going to Paris tomorrow for the Hen Do, then the wedding the day after we got back. I didn't still want to be dealing with frankly, this shit when I got home.

I didn't want to be home right now because it just upset me. It was full of half packed things and the whole time I was there I was just anxious that Greg would pop up. He hadn't given me his key yet and I knew some of his things were still there.

I had tried to call him once but it went straight to voicemail.

I called him a few more times but every single time, no matter the time of day it went to voicemail.

We would still sometimes text which put in a weird limbo with my feelings.

I was semi-avoiding my family as I knew when I saw them I'd have to say something. It would naturally come up in conversation.

As today was the first day of my leave from work, and a day before I flew to Paris, I decided to sort out my life. I needed to speak to Sam and my mum before the wedding, and sort my flat out. I wasn't going to be able to speak to Sam in too much depth from tomorrow right up until the wedding. And it would have just brought so much attention to me if I rocked up to Sam's wedding without Greg in tow.

I ignored the violent butterflies in my stomach as I threw on a pair on jeans and the closest top I could find. It was only when I was half way up the motorway in traffic, when I checked my appearance in my rear view mirror did I realize I was wearing one of Greg's button on up shirts.

I cursed both my luck and my lack of awareness this morning when I was getting dressed.

I groaned taking the third exit heading towards North London, where Sam and Katy's flat was.

*

I put my phone on silent and slid it back into the back pocket of my jeans. I followed behind Sam from his corridor into the open plan living room and kitchen. He took a seat but I continued to walk to the end of the room.

I watched all the boats sailing slowly in the Thames towards Tower Bridge. I had always loved and vocally jealous of the view that Sam had from his flat. I loved how his large windows and balcony overlooked Central London. It always made me feel so calm looking out and watching all the little ants on the ground. I rested my head on the glass, trying to get that calming effect again.

I kept my eyes low, focusing on the moving cars on the ground, not my heart that was thumping all the way up in my ears.

If I started to speak now I would have just whimpered like a baby.

"Come sit down, Lee."

I looked back to Sam, now resting back my back on the glass. He sat on the lovers sofa looking worried. Although his unkempt hair, eyebrows and beard was covering up much of his face, Sam's eyes was the always a giveaway to his mood.