POWER

Chapter 40- opps?

I wish I could rip out a page of my memory cause I put too much energy I'm him and me, can't wait till I get through this faze cause it's killing me too bad we can't rewrite our own history; Such a mystery, When he's here with me, It's hard to believe I'm still lonely, Chances fadin' now, Patience runnin' out, This ain't how it's supposed to be-Keri Hilson.

Fresh Home!
It was Monday morning. First day back to school sinve holiday. Mother had gone back to work; not before taking me shopping and getting y hair done of couse. I had my hair layred and stuff so it looked much longer and my mum had suggested that i have my fringe cut into a full one. I was quite nervous to get it done but it was a change so i did it. I teid my hair from the night before so that it looked fresh in the morning, then afterwards i did the daily essentials before getting dressed. My room was sounding a bit to quiet so i put on the radio as a little background music.
- When you say daddy's home, home for me, and i know you've been waiting for this loving all day.

I had been waiting so long just to see Zac and i was beginning to miss his hugs, his kisses, but also in the back of my mind i missed Omari also. But i had to get over him for the sake of mine and zac's realationship. I wondered as i brushed my hair... what if zac found out what happened it was a terrible mistake that should have never happened. Omari was playing games with my head he needed to stop because i was once in love with him and i was beginning to feel like i was in love with two people. Although, maybe it was best that i told him. I mean relationships are based on trust right? And he told me he loved me time and time again, but it would kill him! Like come on Omari is practically his best friend apart from steven. Its practically beginning to take an effect on me now as ive got this secret yet i promised zac that it was only him in life now. Remember...
"Are you sure you want to do this because I don't want to fall for you if you're already with someone"

"I can't help the feelings I have for you so I just have to follow my heart" as I said this he kissed me on the cheek and smiled with those pearly white teeth again...
Argh! What had i gotten myself into zac was such a great guy and i had done this! I just flung myself on my bed and began to cry, i just wanted it all to be over....
Flashback!....
I was upstairs in my room just having a little me time. After coming out the bath, getting a cup of hot chocolate and getting into a good book i was content. my phone was on silent and my door was shut so it was just me in my own little world. My book seemed to be a little draining so i placed my bookmark on the page where i had stopped and placed it on my bedside table. I was in two minds about what to do next because it was only 6 o clock so i had a lot of time to kill. I was taking a break from revision as i was trying to cram it all in, so i deserved a break. I decided to watch a film seen as my tv and dvd player looked like it was gathering dust, i never really watched tv that often so maybe now it would enterain me. Hmm...
Rush hour... no
Men in black... no
Cinderella... no (allow me, i like Disney movies )
Love and basketball... this film brought back memories alright, but it was the only good one in my pile so i picked it up and putthe disc into the dvd player. I was about to get compfortable as i had just got into bed and was nice and warm when the door knocked... what a way to kill a girls night in ay?!
"come in" i said as i wasn't going to get out of bed now it was too compfortable. Also the movie was just starting so i didn't even clock who had come in.
"this movie brings back memories ay?" said Omari standing there with some grin on his face.
"Omari? What are you doing here?"
"and hello to you too" he said sitting on the edge of my bed
"i wasn't being rude i was just oblivious to why you are in my room"
"well i did come to see sam but i thought i'd see you instead" he said smiling up again
"yeah k you mean that you came to see sam and he weren't here cause he's checking one of his dial a hoe's?"
"and that too aha" he said and then we both started laughing
He tried to make conversation but i was getting into the film so i guessed he had got himself comfortable on the bed also as took off his trainers. He knew not to come under the covers because...
1. Zac is my boyfriend now, straight!
2. He's in his chlothes and has been outside, now thats just nasty!
It was coming up to the bit in the film where monica was at the dance with her date then she seen her neighbour quincy and the vibe is a bit akward as they know they both like each other.
"i cant liveeee my lifeeee without you oh baby.." i sang quietly to myself so that Omari couldn't hear, as it came to the bit in the movie where they were dancing to 'i wanna be your man'.
"all you gotta do is say b you know that" he said winking at me
"you know i was singing the song, so shhh" i said smiling playfully
"but seriously you know i love you though"
"yes i do Omari but your like a roller coaster, one day your up, next day your down."
"imma bad man roller coaster though don't watch me" he said and i laughed
"Ahh your crazy man" i said and let out a little chuckle
"Yeah crazy about you"
It was just so weird how it was now at the part when they slept together, i swear he must of had the remote in his hand ahha. I felt his hand slip around my waist and he whispered in my ear..
"you cant tell me you don't miss me?"
"Omari stop this isn't right"
"Baby, you my everything, you all I ever wanted
We can do it real big, bigger than you ever done it
You be up on everything, other hoes ain't never on it
I want this forever, I swear I can spend whatever on it

'Cause she hold me down every time I hit her up
When I get right I promise that we gonna live it up
She make me beg for it till she give it up
And I say the same thing every single time

I say you the fucking best, you the fucking best
You the fucking best, you the fucking best
You the best I ever had, best I ever had"
I looked in his eyes and sat up as he said that, just like he said it before i held him and he held me it felt so right yet it was so wrong. I wanted to kiss him but i couldn't...
"Omari we cant..." i stopped in my tracks as he pushed me down onto my bed and looked at me.
"shh" he said as he kissed my neck all over, a part of me wanted to tell him to stop but my body told him to carry on and by now it was taking over.
"im just showing you how much i still love you"
As he said that he continued kissing me all over i began to giggle and he looked at me and smiled. Then i felt his hand run down my body, they slided down my waist and to my tighs, then slowly his hands went back up towards my stomach, then he looked at me. We just looked at each other for a good few minutes, then a pain shot up me like no other pain i felt before. He seen the pain in my face and said...
"I'll go slowly yeah"
He kept looking at me because no one had done this to me before and i could guess that by the look on my face i was in pain so he continued but slowly. It felt like it was just me and him in the world as he kept looking at me, i felt like i was falling in love again. The pain drifted away and as the experience came to an end and he removed his hand and whispered...
Come back to me, i still love you, always have always will.