The One She Loves • George Springer

Standoffish Apologies

|S A M A N T H A|

I can't help but blurt out, "Why did you want to meet us?"

Michelle sighs, "I just wanted to meet my kids again. I haven't seen either of you in a very long time. I miss you guys."

I mutter under my breath, "Or do you miss having a punching bag around?"

Michelle looks taken back and hurt, "Samantha? Really? You think of me like that?"

I scoff, "What's the real reason you want to meet us again?"

Michelle shakes her head, "I just wanted to meet you again Sammy."

I seethe at the old nickname she had right to call me by. "Don't ever call me that again."

Matthew touches my shoulder, "Sam just calm down."

I stand up, grab my purse and walk into the restroom across the coffee shop. I'm wish there were less people but it's a Saturday morning. What did I expect?

Being the stubborn girl I am, I don't cry until I lock myself in the restroom. I lean against the wall and hug my body as a form of trying to protect myself.

I know I'm ruining my mascara but I don't give a care in the world. One of the reasons that my life was horrible is because of her. She beat me raw and didn't give a second thought even when she was sober.

I hear the restroom door open and footsteps walking closer to the stall, the last one, I was in. I hear a small knock then a voice.

"Samantha?"

I realize it's Michelle and I whisper loud enough for her to hear me in the dead silent restroom, "Go away."

"Samantha, I'm sorry. I really am. If I could take it all back I would. I would take back all the arguements, the hits, the pushes, the slaps, the words, every drink and even divorcing your dad."

I close my eyes and ask the million dollar question, "Why did you do it?"

I hear a sigh then she tries to explain, "Samantha, the very first time I hit you, I was drunk. I was out at a bar after work and was stressed. It was addicting and alcohol became a regular thing. You know that I could barely control myself. When-"

"What about when you were sober?"

"I... I couldn't bring myself to even go up to you. I know I don't have a good excuse at all since I had three years to talk to you but I just never did. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness and I'm pretty sure I will never earn it or be as close to you as I once was. I just don't want to go through the rest of life without my little girl."

I try my best to wipe my tears away and tell her, "You're right. You probably won't be as close to me as we once were and you probably won't get my forgiveness either. But let me tell you, I'm not a little girl anymore. I don't even think I could've been categorized as a little innocent girl. Bullying and abuse effects a person horribly and since I went through my entire life going through at least one of them at a time, it changed me. Everyone thought I wouldn't amount to anything at all. I proved them wrong, okay?! I have a great job, great friends, amazingly wonderful boyfriend and I don't need anyone or anything else. My family is broken and I have to deal with it. I might not have the best family but I have plenty of people that are like family to me. Even though... t-they're not my real f-family, I can still..."

I break down in a fit of sobs covering my face with my hands. I haven't proved anyone wrong. I'm still the sob story I was in high school. I'm still the despressed girl that won't amount to anything and most of all I'm broken just like my family.

"Please let me in Samantha. I want to help you. I've changed a lot. Please. Just let be in your life again."

I don't know what to do. I look up from my hands and stare at the door. I came here to show her that I wasn't a sob story. She did everything wrong to me. Am I really gonna forgive her? It really does suck being an overly nice person at the worst times. Life is about second chances and changing for the better. I owe nothing to her but I want to be a good person and that meams doing that right thing. I sigh and slowly unlock the door.

Michelle looks at me with tears in her eyes. She puts her arms open and I shake my head, "I want you to see what you've done to me. You will not have my forgiveness for a long time until you prove yourself. You can't say empty words and hope that you can get someone back. You have to show me you've changed."

She lets her arms fall to her side and nods, "I know I don't deserve it but I'll try to make it up to you."

I shake my head, "You can't. You can only add good memories and hope for the best."

I turn away from her. "Go now... please," I say, my voice cracking.

I hear her footsteps walk away and hear the restroom door close. After a few minutes, I clean up my face and walk over to where Michelle and Matthew are.

"Matthew are you ready or what do you want to do?

He shrugs me off and continues to talk to Michelle. I start to glare at him but Michelle turns to me, "I can take him to where ever you live."

Ha, like I'd tell you where I live. I sigh, "No thanks. I'll just go do something then come pick him up again."

Matthew shrugs again, "I can get an Uber or something. Just text me your address."

I sigh, "Fine," and look at my cup of coffee. I grab it and take a sip. Eh, it's drinkable... isn't all coffee drinkable when you're sad? I walk off and start to go towards the exit when I see someone out of the corner of my eye. I turn sideways and see Jessica sipping a coffee innocently.

I groan giving up hopelessly since she's pretty much known all of my business. "Does half of your life rotate around me? I'm very touched," I tell her sarcastically.

She rolls her eyes, "I just happened to be here at the exact place and time. Besides, I'm also getting ready for a baseball game tonight."

I almost get upset but cool down and walk away. Don't let her get to you.

I get in my car and text Lily.

Me: hey, what are you doing?

Lily: hanging out at Carlos place wby

Me: left the coffee shop after meeting Michelle with Matthew.

Lily: WAIT WHAT?!

Me: Matthew wanted to see her and I tagged along.

Lily: ARE YOU OKAY? COME OVER RIGHT NOW!

Me: I guess. I'm just a little shooken up. Are you sure? I don't want to intrude.

Lily: shut up and get over here

Me: fine.... smh

Lily: don't smh me missy

Me: whatever I'm heading over

Lily: Don't text and drive

Me: I'm not. I'm in the parking spot texting you

Lily: ugh rude. You are supposed to be coming over here

Me: oml I'm coming bye

Lily: byeeeee

I laugh a little at her crazy bipolar self. I plug my phone in and start to play some Taylor Swift music. Don't judge me. I back out and start heading over to Carlos' house. Hopefully my friends can cheer me up and give me some advice.

Dang. Do you think her mom deserves forgiveness? Should Sam give her another chance? What would you do if you were Sam?

Don't be a ghost!

Love ya guys,

Grace❤