Living with the badboy

39

A lot of time has passed since the accident. Most of my time is spent in my room reading fatuous books from hamlet to game of thrones.

2 weeks to be exact.

To me all hope is gone, Julia is not going to wake up and even though a tiny stubborn part of me didn't want to accept it. I knew she wouldn't wake up anymore. That was until later this week, as for now we were rushing to the hospital.

The doctors wanted to talk to us about a positive change in Julia's condition. Even though we had to see it as a wrinkle in a smooth lake. Which I think he wanted to sound positive considering small wrinkles turn into bigger ones. But, after a while the wrinkles ceases to exist.

Yeah I'm totally not pessimistic about the situation, note the sarcasm.

It is just that if you don't hope for the best possible outcome, your hope can not be shattered. To me hope is delusional, it is something stupid you make yourself believe that eventually turns out to be fake.

As we walked through the hospital I could not help but cringe at the smell of the deceased that reminded everybody faintly of death.

The smell of medicine that were promised to make people feel better but fail fairly often.

And of course the harsh and suffocating atmosphere which was formed by grief and sadness.

I sat at the table staring at the wall blankly, waiting for the doctor to come in. The clock on the wall was ticking loudly and reminded me of all the time Julia is wasting in her coma that she could have experienced living.

In theory, she is not living.

They say, a day not laughed is a day not lived.

She is dying.

"Hello" he said walking towards us. He shook my hand, "dr. Barkley" he said.

"Hunter Roosevelt"

And did the same to my mother.

He sat down and folded his hands together, he leaned slightly forward and his glasses slid to the en of his nose.

"I have good news, Julia is making progress and reached the stable stage last week as you know. Yesterday however she made great improvements. We hope..."

Hope. There it is again.

"That this will be the case from now on" he said making my step mother smile. At least she didn't die, was all I could say about it.

"Ohh hunter" she said tears trickled down her cheeks. Her lips trembling as she blinked furiously. "Julia is going to be okay, it is okay, everything is okay" she said in hushed tones more to herself than me.

"Hmm m'am I-" the doctor began but I cut him short with a glare preventing him from taking this small moment of joy from her.

She may not be my real mother but I would hate to see her face fall again. After all this was all my fault.

The drive home was silent we didn't exchange much words and the ones we did were about how happy she was about the change in Julia's 'recovery'.

"You know, miss Smyth told me about what happened a few weeks ago" she said suddenly making me jump at her words.

"She did..." I said pursing my lips trying to keep my gaze focused on the passing streetlights.

"You know you can talk to me I am you mother for heavens sake" she said softly and I felt her eyes burn on me.

"Stepmother" I corrected her.

"Yes stepmother which still has the word mother in it. Meaning I still care about your well being." She said directing her gaze to the road again.

"I know I just feel like I have to get trough this myself"

"You don't have to but if that is what you want... then I respect that but the minute I hear it see that something is wrong again. I will interfere"

"I will let you"

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