What He Left Behind

Part 06

Ireland

It hit me hard when that elevator closed. He didn’t even try to stay. He didn’t try to change my mind. I don’t know what hurts more, that he didn’t care enough to or that he didn’t even try. I walked back into the apartment and all I could think about was that kiss.

“Are you ready?” Josh asked as he walked out of my bedroom.

“Do you think we can just get some take out tonight? I’m not really up for going out and Ella is already asleep.”

“That’s fine, what do you want?”

I rubbed my back, “Umm, what about pizza and crazy bread?”

“That sounds fine. Is your back hurting?” He asked moving closer to me.

“Yeah, a little, but I’m fine.” I grabbed the number off the fridge and ordered from the closest restaurant.

Josh walked but behind me and started to rub my back. I have been close with him for a while now. He was there when no one else was. He has been so great with Ella that I can’t do anything to hurt him. He is just was I’m supposed to want, but why don’t I? Ryan. He gave me too much, he loved me too much and now I can’t find that in anyone else.

He worked his hands down my back as I leaned against the counter. He has made me mildly happy for the last few years, why can’t I just be happy with that? I have decided to blame Ryan for all of that. He is the reason that I can’t find anyone else. There was too much spark in that relationship. The fighting is what fueled our love.

He pulled my shirt over my head as he has so many times before. He caresses my back and my stomach, just the way Ryan used to when he made me all those promises that he broke. I felt his lips on my shoulder, but they aren’t the ones that I am constantly dreaming about. They are my best friends, not the guy that I fell in love with.

The doorbell rang. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.” He whispered.

I heard the pizza man, but I couldn’t bring myself back to reality. All I could think about was Ryan and how all I wanted right now was for him to be in this apartment with me. Not Josh. He is just a distraction from what I know is right. Ryan just doesn’t want to accept that we were supposed to be happy together. Not torn apart.

Then he turned me around. I had played this game before. It kept everyone happy. Josh is so good to Ella, that I can’t risk that relationship. This isn’t the first time nor will it be the last. This started shortly after I had Ella. He learned that Ryan was gone and probably never coming back so he slowly took control of the situation. I wouldn’t tell anyone because that who would believe me? I am just a single mother whose boyfriend left her before he learned that she was pregnant.

So I play his little game all night until he finally falls asleep, then all I can do is cry. This is not how I pictured my future. I never thought that I would be alone and in a position like this. I thought this was for those girls that didn’t have a back bone. The ones that were afraid to stand up for themselves. But I was wrong, because I have never been that girl. But yet here I am laying in this bed with a man that uses me because he knows I have no one else.

Ryan.

When I left her apartment I had this strange feeling in my stomach. I felt like something was wrong, but I couldn’t figure out what it could be. Josh was there when I left earlier and I have even made a trip all the way over to her apartment to see that his truck was still there. It is two a.m. and I can’t sleep for the sick feeling in my stomach. Maybe I should drive over there one more time, maybe I can even go up and quietly knock on the door. No she would be scared out of her mind if I done that. I’ll just text her.

Ryan: Hey are you okay?

I waited for a reply, it was about 10 minutes later.

Ireland: Why are you up so late?

She didn’t answer my question.

Ryan: You didn’t answer my question and I can’t sleep.

It took her a while to reply.

Ireland: Oh. Well I guess I’m okay.

That’s odd.

Ryan: You’re lying. What’s up? Tell me. Is Josh still there? Do you need me to come over?

Ireland: I can’t tell you. Yes he is still here, you don’t need to come over. You would wake him up.

Is she scared of him?

Ryan: Are you scared of him?

It took her fifteen minutes to reply. I was getting so worried that I was about to get up and get my keys when I got her reply.

Ireland: Ryan just keep your nose in your own business. I have enough to worry about and I don’t need you coming around just to make it harder on me.

This is complete bullshit. I have to get her to meet me somehow. I have to know what is going on. I should have texted her sooner.

Ryan: Can you please come out and meet me somewhere?

Ireland: No.

Ryan: Why not?

Ireland: I just can’t, it is two in the morning Ryan.

Ryan: You either meet me now or I come over there and wake them all up. You make your choice now.

Ireland: ….fine, i’ll meet you at the park in thirty minutes. 

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Hey guys, I know that this is kind of short, but if I hadn't stopped here in this chapter it would have messed somethings that are coming up. SO I hope that you enjoy it. I'm now going to try and update once or twice a week since i'm out of school. Comment and Vote!!!