Mejibray Oneshots and Imagines! (Requests OPEN!)

Anxiety (Tsuzuku x Reader)

I am so sorry it took me so long to get this out. I almost had it done when my fucking wordpad app decided to freeze and delete the majority of what I had down. So, again, sorry for the delay with updating. This is in Tsuzuku's POV. I hope you enjoy!

--

I flicked the ashes of my cigarette out the cracked driver's side window as I impatiently waited for the light in front of me to turn green. I heaved an irritated, impatient sigh; I really needed to get home, and I was catching every single light on the way.

I got the call about an hour ago.

"Please come home?"

I knew when I married her about the daily struggle she faced inside her mind. I knew of the darkness she battled. I knew of the nagging, negative voice in her head that told her terrible lies about herself, and even lies about me sometimes that made her doubt our relationship. I knew of the hopelessness that often consumed her and the horrid panic attacks that plagued her. I knew of the tears she cried when she was unable to quiet her mind and it all became too much for her to handle. Even so, I still loved her. I wanted to do anything I could possibly do to ease her pain. To make her feel safe. To make her smile.

I entered our shared apartment and quickly took off my coat and shoes, seeing her curled up on our couch in tears. My heart lurched; God, I really hated seeing her cry.

Going over to the couch, I eased down beside her and immediately pulled her into my arms. She crawled into my lap, clinging to my body like her very life depended on it with trembling arms. As she sobbed into my chest, I kissed her head repeatedly, stroking her hair and whispering calm hushes to her. "It's okay... I'm here..."

"It hurts..." She choked out through a sob.

"You're okay, baby." I reassured her. "Just breathe. This won't last forever..."

"I'm so sorry I made you leave practice early..."

"It's okay. I promise."

She pulled back slightly, wiping the tears from her cheeks frantically; she was still embarrassed to cry in front of me despite three years of marriage. She sniffled. "No it isn't. I'm always pulling you away from your band over this stupid... crybaby bullshit... I'm such a fucking burden to you..."

"You are not a 'fucking burden' to me." I glared down at her sternly.

She was silent for a few moments, biting down hard on her lip nervously as more tears threatened to spill from her red, glassy eyes. "I don't know what to do, Tsu... Why do I feel this way?" Choking up, she reached her hands up to hold her head and squeezed her eyes shut in one final attempt to stop the tears, yet they escaped her lids and she collapsed against me. "I'm so scared. Make it stop... Make it stop!!"

Hugging her closer, I brought her head against my chest and rested my chin atop her head as I gently rubbed her back with my other hand. "I wish I could do more to help you..." I frowned.

"I just want to be able to function like a normal human fucking being..." She blubbered. "I don't want to deal with this shit anymore... I can't... I can't do it..."

I firmly kissed the top of her head again. "You can do it. You can beat this, baby. You are the strongest person I know." I spoke into her hair as I rocked her gently in my arms. "Battling your own mind every day is scary as hell. I know, I do it too. You can't run away from what's inside your head. You're forced to come face to face with it. You know what, though? Facing your fears head on is the strongest thing you can do."

I continued to rub her and kiss her until her sobs quieted down to gentle hiccups. I felt her breathing begin to slow to soft, calm inhales, and long, steady exhales. Her tense muscles began to relax as she sunk deeper into my body. Once she was at ease, I reached under her chin and lifted her tear-stained lips to mine. It was a short kiss, yet it was packed with every last bit of love I could muster. I pulled back to wipe the remaining moisture from her rosy cheeks with my thumbs, smiling warmly down at her.

"See? I told you it wouldn't be forever. I told you that you'd beat it."

"You helped..." She countered meekly.

I laughed. "Of course I helped. I'm your husband and I love you. I want to help you feel better when you're scared or hurt or when you're upset. I'll always be here for you. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, right?"

"Right." A sweet smile crept across her face as she hugged her dainty arms around my waist and nuzzled her nose into the crook of my neck. "I love you so much, Tsuzuku."

"I love you too, Y/N."

Exhausted from the excessive rush of adrenaline, she fell asleep in my arms in no time at all. I leaned back against the large throw pillows, careful not to wake her, and allowed my own tired eyes to drift shut as I held her close to me and gave her one final kiss on her forehead before falling asleep myself.