Bad Boy Mendes (Shawn Mendes)

Chapter fifteen; i did what i had to do

Once the interview was over Claire left the room so me and Shawn could talk in private. He should be arriving in any minute.

I'm hurt, and angry, he said we were over with and that there were no special girls waiting for him.

Fuck him. I can't believe he doesn't think what we had was special because I do. He breaks my heart over and over again. He doesn't mean to but he does and it hurts. I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm weak and wounded.

I use to tell myself; I am strong, I am independent, I am confident.

But for some reason now i can't bring myself to say any of those things are true.

Now? I am weak, I am broken, I am insecure.

All because of one stupid boy.

"Yeah thank you!" I hear his voice as he opens up the door. I turn around with tears filled in my eyes.

"Why are you here" his smile disappears , he closes the door behind himself and he walks to the fridge to grab himself a bottle of water.

I read him the text message "we should breakup, it's better if you don't ask questions" I throw my phone on the couch.

"Why are you here Stella" he ask more stern this time.

"You had sex with me Shawn! We had sex and then you left me. How could you do that?" I cry . He looks away.

"No damnit you better look at me! I don't care how hard it is for you to do so but you better look at me because you did this!" I motion to myself crying.

"You BROKE me Shawn. I am broken" I scream at him.

He sits down in the chair and places his head in his hands.

"Don't be a fool Stella" he whispers.

"No you don't get to tell me your stupid song lyrics you wrote about me. You don't get to do that" I throw my hands in the air and wipe my tears away.

"I didn't know how to tell you Stella so I just left. How the hell did you expect me to tell you I was leaving? I got carried away with you and we had sex and for that I will forever be sorry" he looks up at me with red eyes. Tears start to fall down his face and it breaks my heart even more to see him like that.

I want to hug him and tell him everything is going to be alright but I can't do that. I won't do that.

"We could have worked something out Shawn, we could have, oh fuck I don't know but we could have worked it out!" I scream back at him

""Don't be stupid Stella! you don't want this life. I'm constantly moving how do you expect me to be the person you need me to be?" Shawn yell's with a cracked voice running his fingers through his hair distressed. This is a side of him i have never seen before..

"Maybe I do ! Maybe I want to be apart of your life and grow with you but your not allowing me to do so Shawn!" I sit down on the couch on the opposite side of the room as him.

"And then your gonna tell the whole fucking world I don't matter to you anymore? I don't fucking matter to you? Did I ever matter?" I cry into my hands.

"Yes Stella you matter. Your probably the love of my life and I fucked everything up I know that" his voice stays soft. "I love you Stella , but you need to let go of me" he whispers by the end of his words.

"Who. are . you?" I say disgustedly . I get up off of the couch and head toward the door to leave . He doesn't make any move to stop me.

"If your gonna write another song about me, at least don't make me look like I was the bad person. I tried Shawn. I really tried. You just remember that" I walk out and close the door behind me.

It takes me a few seconds to move my legs. I feel so powerless. I wipe my eyes one last time and force myself to move my legs and begin to walk.

"We're leaving" I whisper to Claire as I walk past her.

"What happened? Why are we leaving?" She runs and tries to catch up to me.

"We're done for good" I shrug and blink my eyes quickly so no more tears fall. I'm done with the crying. It's time for me to become the person I was before I met him.

"Why what happened? Stella what happened" she grabs my wrist and pulls me back towards her.

"We're done, he doesn't want to get back together and I can't keep trying to make it work when it's just not going too. It's exhausting" I breathe out a breath I didn't even know I was holding in.

"I'm done crying Claire, I just need to go home" I start to walk again.

She doesn't say anything. She knows that she can't say anything that's going to help right now. This is just something I need to get through on my own.

I will be strong. I will be independent, I will be confident.

I will heal my own wounds.