AN OPEN LETTER TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
I am tired; physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. I want to take a rest and loosen up. I want to sleep-forever.
I don't want to be with this unkind and cruel world. I don't want to live my fucking life. I don't want to get along with hypocrites.
Fake friends. Fake smiles. Fake actions. Fake love. I am dying just to escape these bullshits. I am tired, so goddamn tired of everything that it gives me an urge to paint a gory picture on my wrist-Using a razor and a basin of blood.
I'm dying-no, I am already a dead, soulless body. Walking, talking, hanging out with some two face people, laughing, smiling, acting, pretending-to be happy.
I am living in a lifeless life. A life full of pains, heartbreaks and lies. I'm done and I am now quitting.
To whom I Addressed this letter, please bear to read this. It is quite long but it's a life and death situation.
An effusive letter for my dearest friend(s):
Hello, dear. What's up? How are you doing? Are you okay? Do you have any problem? May I help you? You know I am always here for you, right? C'mon, you can count on me-these are the words, phrases, sentences, questions I am waiting for you to ask me.
I am not demanding or what but I really need you to comfort and hug me tightly-I need you to care.
I trusted you with all my broken heart. You knew my secrets I've been keeping for years, the pain I've been enduring the whole time and even the darkest and obscured part of my being, you know me too well, or so I thought.
The hoax of my smile and laughs didn't bothers you. I know you can sense it but you seem not to care. Instead of staying beside me when I am sad or being drown by my own emotions, you left me alone in the corner and join your humorous and riotous friends. Funny isn't it?
Am I being too dependent on you or I'm just too attached? Neither of the two. I was deluged with my thought that we're friends, that in laughter and sorrows we'll be there for each other. My delusion swallowed me, entirely. And it sucks to know they weren't true.
Friend(s), I just want you to know that it really breaks my heart to see you laughing with your other friends. I feel like I am unwanted, a boring and a dull person. And I hate it. I hate the fact that I can't blame you. I can't blame you why I am like this-a mess, a trash and useless.
You make me feel an option-the last choice in your list. Yes, you didn't mean to hurt me that way but that's how I feel and I'm sorry.
Don't worry and don't be guilty. It's my fault-it is always be my fault.
To my family, especially to my loving parents,
Mom, dad, I love you and I know you love me too.
You love me to the point that you get too numb to feel that I am hurting.
I guess you are satisfied of the things you have given to me but mom, dad, I don't need those kind of matter. What I need is your time, attention and presence.
