Memory Loss

Memory Loss Chapter 20

*** OKAY so look :D a new chapter!!! In this chapter you will find out a bit more about Jake and Raven and there life and also a drastic choice Bella makes ... what is it you ask? Well why don't you read and find it out ;D INJOY :D !!!!***

Chapter 20

Walking is ten times more energy consuming when you are trying to find a loved one, but no matter what you can’t stomach any food or water which is bad considering I haven’t eaten in about a day. Its night time now and we managed to get some distance before night time came. We found an old abandoned barn to stay the night at. I decided to take the hay loft, which was the biggest area. The rest just took the nearest place that looked somewhat comfortable and crashed. Today was a long day and we were all exhausted! I haven’t drained this much energy since the time me and Damen went ice skating at the arena. Even though I was both mentally and physically exhausted I couldn’t seem to fall asleep. So I hug my feet over the edge of the hay loft and looked at everyone sleeping below me on the main level of the barn. Mace and Eve were curled up beside a big pile of straw. They looked so at peace and comfortable. Then there was Jesse and Max. Max was sitting up leaning against a wooden beam sleeping while Jesse slept on his chest. Seeing those 4 made me think even more about my Damen and how badly I wanted to have what they have. As for Raven and Jake I could only find one of them. Raven. She was off in the dark corner of the barn…but where on earth was Jake?

All of a sudden I hear something behind me and stand up to see what it is. It’s so much darker up in the loft. Then from out of the darkness came Jake. Damn did he scare the shit of me! I must have jumped 3 feet in the air.

“Sorry about that Bella. I noticed that we are the only ones that weren’t sleeping so I decided to come chat for a bit and see what’s up. So, what’s up? Why you still up. I’d think that from all of us you’d be the first to hit the hay.” He started snickering after that since we were in a hay barn. I had to admit I chuckled a bit to.

“It’s okay Jake you just startled me a bit, probably because it’s sort of creepy in this old barn mixed with I thought I was the only one awake and when you don’t know what is coming out from the darkness…It would frighten anyone with common sense. I’m just glad that I didn’t fall off of the platform up here. But you have to think about it from my point of view. The person I love is out there somewhere…he could be hurt. I have way to much racing through my mind to fall asleep.” I said looking down at my feet as I clicked my heels together like I always do when I’m scared/sad or nervous.  

“Ah I know what you mean. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel but I have some idea. As you know I’m not blood related to Raven but It feels like we are. You see Raven and me are just over a year apart. So when her parents adopted me she wasn’t the happiest. She would toss her hard plastic toys at my face and hit me and try and take all the attention and bring it on her. I can’t blame her though considering she was their real child not some kid they just decided to take in. Don’t get me wrong I’m extremely grateful for what they did but I can’t help but think that their death was my fault… I’m not sure if anyone told you but they died around 3 years ago. And it’s all my fault…” He said sitting down on the rim of the floor to overlook everyone. I decided to join him beside him to try and comfort him.

“You can’t blame yourself for their death Jake. It wasn’t your fault.” I felt so bad for him…Is that why he always look sad and why they only talk to each other?

“But it is!” Jake said with a bit of a louder tone. “I’m sorry for getting angry but it was my fault…You see me and Raven’s mom got in this big fight so I ran away. They searched for me for days. But no one found me until one of the students at the school saw me and called them. When they picked me up they gave me this huge lecture of how they love me and how I shouldn’t just run off. And that I’m their son and should respect them more. So  I yelled at them saying how I knew I was adopted … they both turned around in their seat with horrified looks on their faces… the rest is a blur… the doctor said we got in a car crash…I was in a coma for 3 months before I woke up. Raven never left me side and when I awoke and asked for mom and dad she started to cry and I knew…they were gone.” He was trying to control his breathing so he wouldn’t cry. But he doesn’t need to be strong around me so I gave him a hug and patted his back.

“Shh Jake it’s not your fault you didn’t know that would happen it was the person who hit you fault. Not yours so don’t worry about it. I’m here for you.” I could feel tears coming from my eyes and on to his shoulder. I wonder if my parents are live or if they are dead…

It was early in the morning now but the sun still hasn’t risen. Everyone except me is awake now. While sitting here talking with Jake and thinking things over I’ve come to decide something. I may regret it own the line but I feel as if it’s something that has to be done. Not just for me, but for the group and most important. Damen . I have decided that I will have to leave the group before they wake up. It’s the best thing because I don’t want to risk putting them in danger and at risk of dying just so that I can find my love. It’s not fair for them to be put through this. They didn’t have to take me in, or even find me. But I did make some amazing friends in this journey and I hope to see them someday again… That is if I survive the rest of the journey yet to happen.

So I packed up what I needed for the road and wrote a note. The note read:

Dear everyone. I feel as if this is the best for all of us. I have put you through too much stress and I am sorry for that. I’m sorry for putting you at risk and making some of your secrets come out. Eve, you are an amazing person and I can tell you love Mace very much. I hope you guys last forever because your love is pure and untainted. You of all people know exactly how I feel… what would you do if Mace was taken. I feel as if you would want all your friends safe. I think as you all of friends…even family. I hope one day to see you all again. Please don’t follow me… I don’t know what I would do if one of you got hurt or even worse die from just trying to help me. I’ll miss you all.

Good bye- Bella

And with that I left into the unknown night. Who knows what will happen on the rest of my journey. All I care about is that all of them are safe and I find my one true love. My soul mate. Damen. Oh Damen I hope you are okay. And if I never find you I will break inside because I never got to tell you that I love you. I’ve loved you since I first placed my eyes on you. I knew from that start we were meant to be and nothing will change that. I will always love you Damen…no matter what comes of us.