TEARDROPS

Shatter Me : A Short Story

Shatter Me

All I saw were lights flickering, as my eyes squinted. Hazing shadows blurring my vision as I blinked, my eyes adjust. There he was, lying peacefully beside me. I smiled, as memories come flooding in, how he fervently held me, how I felt his voiced hummed as he peppered sweet kisses along my bare shoulder.

My breath caught, as I opened my eyes, darkness enveloped my bedroom, silver moonlight filtered through my window, as my eyes slowly burn in tears, I softly sobbed, looking at the empty space beside me. He wasn't there, and I was alone, as my mind tried to argue my consciousness, telling me this was the dream, that he was still here. But I knew that was nothing but a fraction of my deep longing, how painful it is the unacceptable truth.

We had an argument, it was nothing really, I just wanted him home for my birthday, but no, he had to work. It was always like this, I barely see him, but I did not care, he had a life, I had mine, the only thing that mattered was that he loved me. But no, that was not the case anymore, on that fine Tuesday night; he left, slumming the door shut furiously. As I slowly fell to my knees in tears, my subconscious telling me it was alright, that he was going to come back. I woke up that morning, lying on the carpet, the sun was blazing, it was Wednesday and I had errands to run.

I went to my regular grocery store that day, alone. While grabbing a stock of Kleenex, I saw a familiar face, and a very familiar smile. There he was, smiling brightly, Daniel, with Kate, my best friend. I just stood there in shock, my jaw dropped open, as I watch them share a sweet kiss right in front of me, with my very own to eyes.

I did not say a word, not around Kate, and I hid it very well. She did not ask a single question, even when she saw my eyes swollen sore from all the crying, all she did was give me that sad smile. But behind her back, I glared, piercing a hole at the back of her head. She was my friend, my co-worker, my partner. How could she do this to me? Take something that is mine?

I went home alone that night, four walls suffocating me in the darkness, and again, I cried, wasting my tears over a man that could not even love me back, had no time for me, that was now with my best friend. It hurt, but no, it was alright, my masochistic side said, that they were happy, I should let them be. But then, where was mine?

The very next day, I filled a box with every bit of his things, and another with everything that he has ever given me. Placing it outside my door for him to get that day, I did not want to see him, it would only burn my healing wounds. As I took a small teddy bear lying by my bed, I pushed at its chest, as it slowly spoke to me, with his sweet voice. Ana my love, will you marry me?
Tears yet again, blurring my vision, as I looked at the precious stone shining brightly on my left hand. I took the ring off, placed it back in its velvet red box and packed it up with the rest of the things. My room was suddenly dull and empty; there was not a single decoration in sight. Picture frames were hanging empty by the wall, my bed with nothing but one soft pillow. How sweet is the sorrow of love, giving your own happiness to someone else?

If only she knew, how much I love her, love him. But I had to move on with my life, as if nothing ever happen, as if I never met him, shutting every memory away, just like how I closed the box of my love. I endured it all, for the past two weeks of great agony. Watching her smile as she read her text messages, her eyes twinkling with desire, as my heart twisted in envy, as if it were bleeding from the inside. I looked away, took my bag, and left Kate to her own world.

I did not know why, but my head kept telling me, Ana, get a hold of yourself, that could have been someone else. But no, I was in denial, because I swore I saw him, saw her in his arms. Dirty, was what was in my head, I felt betrayed, unwanted. Looking at myself in the mirror, ugly, was all it spoke, imperfection. As I grab the bottle of soap from the counter and threw it at the mirror, sobbing in pain, as shards of glass fell. The sharp edges taunting me, as I grab a piece and slit my wrist. Remembering the sweet nights I have shared that same sweet kiss in front of the now broken mirror. But before I could slit my other wrist, the door burst open, and there he was, eyes wide in shock, I smiled at him, tears streaming down my cheeks. Ana, was what he said, and he held me in his arms, and said sorry. But it was too late, as I clench the broken glass around my palm, feeling blood slowly dripping. As I whispered his name, and sealed it with a kiss, goodbye.