The love affair -ON HOLD-

I just want you for my own...

MAGNUS POV-

I was being cold. I knew that,I just wanted to get to know him. I'm not normally like this. I don't know why I'm like this with him. I normally just forget about everyone and focus on my people. This wasn't like me.
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Arriving at the place near the demon attack, I tried to walk up to Alec but I had pushed him away too much. He had become as cold as I was. I couldn't let this be the end of something that for once felt real. Someone that made me nervous, that made me feel amazed that people could be so warm even though their people may not be. I'm scared to fall for him,but I can't let him see that,let him see my weaknesses. The fact that I'm scared to be lonely.
It's sealed. The rif was sealed no more demons for the time being. Time to go back to the cold emptiness of my apartment. I turn and I glance back at Alec and his friends having a good time. My heart turns to ice. I had to look strong like not having him wasn't hurting me,the truth was it was tearing me apart. I had only just met him but we had connected like I have never have with anyone else.  I turned and glanced back at Alec celebrating wth his friends. My heart tore into two. It was frozen like ice. I walked away I had to look strong. I don't know how I will ever get passed him.
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I reached for the door of my cold empty apartment. Before it was full of life. All the warlocks in Brooklyn came here,but ever since valentine got his hands on the mortal sword, they all fled through a portal. I stayed, who else would help save the mundanes' asses from being overtook with demons. I threw back the cocktails I had made from earlier just in case Alexander decided to visit. I slumped on the sofa, what was I doing I wasn't getting over him dumping me. I was the high warlock of Brooklyn, if anything was going to break me it wouldn't be him. My thoughts were pushed aside when I heard a knock at the door. It was him. His leather jacket fitting him perfectly, the white top hugging his body; defining his six pack. I stood there and stared he looked perfect without putting in any effort. Then I remembered,it wasn't a dream,he was there and I'm pretty sure he had noticed my staring for a few minutes now. I search at the back of my mind for a witty comment but all I got out was...
M- h-hello?
A- Look Magnus I know your Turing everything off right now but please just let me in.
M- I-I-I can't.

I pushed him back gently out of the way of the door. My back slides down the back of the door and I crouch on the floor. What have I done. I had shut him out again. Why do I keep doing this, he doesn't deserve this,I'm confusing him. Maybe I should go with the other warlocks through the portal. I stood up and walked over to the balcony making a cocktail as I went,maybe I should.  I stared out into the blackness of the night and clicked my fingers and stared once again at the city lights and back at the door. I left a note. If he wants to find me he knows; I convinced myself  and stepped through the portal closing it behind me.