When I saw her, my world shattered, well not really, but it was like all I could see was her, she was beautiful, and it was definitely love at first sight. Her hair was soft and silky, I hadn't touched it, but I would, one day, I would run my fingers through it, and she would sigh contently. And I would kiss her forehead. One day I would wipe all her tears away. I was falling, and I barely knew her.
When I saw her I didn't see the scars. If I did I would have asked her what happened. If I saw the tears, maybe I would've kissed them away. Done anything, just make her happy. But I only saw her, and she stood there in a sweater covering up her neck and arms, from the scars. I saw her tired eyes, but I didn't think anything about it. Even though it was the second day of school, maybe she had done heaps of study the night before.
I saw her slump, just a little bit, she didn't have the energy to straighten up properly. I thought it was from the tired, just like the eyes. I didn't see her slit wrists, or her burn mark just above her elbow. I only saw her face, there might have been a bruise, but I didn't see it if there was. I scolded myself for not paying enough attention.
When I saw her, it was a lie. She was strong, she would do what she wanted, she was kind, but only to those who she wised to be. She would lie, she would hide, she would protect others and put herself in danger. She was alone, she wouldn't let people in, trust wasn't just an issue, trust was everything, but trust was nothing, trust didn't exist.
She was broken, I could have fixed her, but I didn't. I ignored the blatant obvious of the fact that she was broken, so broken, one day would be broken to the point where I couldn't reach her, couldn't help her anymore, she would be too far gone, people would call helping her a lost cause. So maybe, if I did something at the beginning, all of this could have been avoided. But I didn't, I can't change the past, all I can do is think about the things I should have done, and what would have happened if I did.
I'm sorry Brooke. I have failed you. I have failed everyone. I have failed myself.
Brooke forgive me. For I am a waste of space. And you are the universe, you should have gotten rid of me before it all got worse. The stars will do whatever you command, but you are so used to being commanded, that you won't give them any instructions. One day, the stars will burn out, and you will be alone, in the darkness. If you keep pushing people away, then you will eventually be left, given what you asked for, and you will realise that it's not what your heart wanted. You wanted to be surrounded by the right people.
You wanted to be loved. And I love you, you just don't know that yet. I don't know if I will tell you, or when. But one day, you will figure it out for yourself. You're a smart girl Brooke, you've managed to avoide me up 'till now.
But forgive me for what I did, and what I'm about to do. Because I love you, and I think that you might love me too.
Yours,
Lucas
YOU ARE READING
Because Life Goes On
Teen FictionBrooke Mari and Mei Su were best friends, they were each other's only friend. But Mei had died over the summer, and now Brooke was left all alone. Her parents were useless, her mum was almost non-existent, only coming to visit once or twice a year...
