The day was hell itself. As little as i liked to admit it, I was still in love with Connor. Maybe I missed the idea of having someone other than family to go to. However, he told me he died. Yes. I know it sounds crazy that he told me but it's true. Of course he told me it was someone else telling me on his account. Apparently he'd snapped his knock during a rugby game.
I was vulnerable. I was a gullible rat falling for the cheese. So that day I went to meet my friend Karl. I sat on the Bella bridge for an hour crying my eyes out. The amount of tears could've have formed a river. He heald me in his arms and said it'll be alright.
Matthew was the one to tell me he faked it. That he wanted to see how I'd react to him dying. Matthew is Connors best friend. They'd been best friends sense the start of year 7. I don't think Mathew liked the idea of him faking his death to see a reaction. At about 8:30pm that night I finally got a text from Leah.
Hesitating to tell me what was wrong, she told me anyway. Tears raced down her freckled cheeks. As I rang her to get a clear description, all I heard were sniffle and tears hitting her mascara stained clothes and pillows. Her dad.............he had died. Passed away during the night. She didn't even get to say goodbye or I love you.
I
That night I fell apart. Eyes flooding. The room already full of teary water. I grabbed a razor. I wanted to greet death. So I tore it apart. Grabbed the blade. It was sharper than a needle. Placed it against my smooth wrist. And I cut. I tore the skin open for the first time. It felt great. All of my pain was finally somewhere else. I was free! But I wasn't.
I remember the pain coming back. The pain of losing someone so close. I remember cutting again. Slicing my skin. The skin in once as soft as a cloud igh was now ripped in two. I remember crying and pulling my golden blond hair. I remember the
headache from screaming inside my head. I remember the constant pain that still haunts me as I right this. I remember it all.
