↠player riggs↞

chapter twenty four

AUTHORS NOTEEE

i just wanted to say that chandler isn't in this chapter a lot. this chapter mainly
focuses on y/n and how she's coping with what's gone on so far. it does mention her thoughts about chandler but it's mostly her emotions and how she is feeling right now. so sorry but the next chapter is coming sooon!!! i promise. and it will have chandler ;)

Y/N POV

     we made it to school. actually on time. sydney and i stayed at the cafeteria chatting with a couple of friends. thank god they didn't bring up chandlers party..... they weren't into parties as much
      i was having some fun and enjoying myself. then i saw chandler. not only chandler but his new arm candy, daniella mendez. oh my god she was so pretty.
       but i wasn't in the mood. i am at my most insecure and vulnerable state right now, and i refuse to let this get to me.
     i was not going to have chandler control me just to have me crawling back to him and depending on him. i ignored it. actually ignored it. not to make him angry but for me.

time skip

     i'd just came out of fifth period and was at my locker talking to my friend leslie. just school drama. we had biology next which we dreaded. she came up with the idea to just skip and go out to eat. lunch was just an hour ago but i'd become fond of emotional eating so i took up the offer.

     we went to cheddars and had a nice conversation. we snap chatted, laughed, and ate. it was fun and this day turned out not to be so bad. this kinda felt like i'd gone through something and i could be happy.... i just had to get rid of this hole i was feeling inside me.

time skip

      it's 3:50 am and this is my third time crying tonight. again. thinking of my rape. chandler cheating on me or whatever definitely didn't help. to me ..... it felt like i wasn't independent. no matter how hard i tried to be. i needed someone..... and after being raped and chandler, i just feel like..... i'm not worth it. i mean who's gonna want me now?
      i feel incredibly insecure. but i can't help but think , today was a good day. i had fun . i laughed . nothing bad happened. but i still can't go to sleep because i'm crying
     what happens if i have a bad day? am i going to crack ? am i gonna break down? i hate that all of this got to me so easily. that i fell for chandler so hard. how much i got attached to him and he probably thinks i'm crazy for how much i cried for him. we were only together for a weekend. two boyfriends in four days? way to go. no. i definitely had attachment issues and need to stop depending on literally everyone.
     but right now.... i need some rest. i got through today and tomorrow may or not be harder , but i'm stronger today than i was yesterday and i can get through it

     i just need some sleep.

thanks for reading . please comment and vote ❤️❤️❤️❤️
      any feedback is helpful btw :)