↠player riggs↞

° chapter sixteen °

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Y/N POV

why was i here?  i guess somewhere in the back of my mind,  i knew i had to come here.
and i knee what i needed to do.

and that was tell him the truth.

about everything.

about chandler, about the rape.

i stayed in the car for a whole as i closed my eyes.

i remembered what chandler told me. about how it wasn't my fault.

was it really not my fault?

i thought about those girls earlier.

if they got in the same situation as me,  which i hope would never be the case, what would i think.

i would think that it wasn't their fault. that it was a very unfortunate thing to go through.
and never would i blame anything on them.

so why wasn't i the same way.

i needed to believe that it wasn't my fault.

its not my fault
its not my fault
its not my fault

until i realized it wasn't.

i breathed out, happy that i convinced myself.

i pulled the key out of the engine and stuffed into my picket as i opened the car door.

i stepped out and walked over to the door.

i rang the door bell.

pinching my wrist as i waited for a response.

finally,  michael showed up to the  door shirtless and looked tired.

like he just woke up.

which he probably did.

" y/n? " he said as his eyes squinted.

" michael,  can i come in? " i asked. with my voice low.

" okay, " he said as he opened the door more.

i walked in. his house felt so warm and cozy. he had chestnut floors and flower wallpaper.

the whole house was filled with cinnamon.

he lead me to the couch and i sat in front of him.

" what is it? " he asked.

i inhaled hard, focusing on the little white vase he had on his coffee table.

" uhm, " i began.

" last night, at the party. i got drunk,  " i said at a very low voice.

i looked up. but didn't want to. but it wasn't fair to michael if i couldn't have a face to face conversation about me cheating on him

he gave me a sad look. like,  he knew what i was gonna say.

and he did.

" and i,  i kissed chandler. " i said sniffling.

he looked down.

he covered his eyes with his eyes as he shut them tight. 

was that what he does when he has anxiety? 

i wondered if he always had it,  or he was like me.  and something triggers it.

i didn't want to continue. and i couldn't hold it in to anymore.

" that's not it,  " i continued.

he looked up,  shock in his eyes.

" i- i, i was r- raped. " i instituted.

he widened his eyes.

there was completely silence for a couple of seconds,  but it ft like years.

" is that an real?  or is it just an excuse for you having sex with chandler last night? " he said.

" its not an excuse!  and it wasn't chandler! " i argued.

" great, different guys, " he spat.

" i was actually raped,  michael!  i didn't know what w-was going on,  im --,  i was a virgin!  i didn't want it. "

" sure, that's what it was " he carelessly said.

ive never been more hurt before.
i never knew michael could be the this cruel. anybody for that matter.

but he totally surprised me.

" because,  that's what did happen,  michael!  it wasn't my fault, " i cried.

he stood up,  like he had enough. he looked pissed.

but i should've been the pissed one, my boyfriend,  the one who is supposed to be there for me,  is completely leaving me stranded.

" it was your fault,  y/n!  and even if that did actually happen,  YOU DESERVED IT!"

those words echoed. i already felt bad enough and he wasn't helping. actually, making it way worse.

tears came flooding down my face and i closed my eyes. then,  i looked back at him.

his eyes were widened and his veins were popping.

"we're over " i whispered.

" good,  " he said as he clenched his jaw.

" i wouldn't want damaged goods anyways " he spat.

it broke me. damaged goods.

was that how they would label me?

were people gonna not be as understanding as chandler?

what about sydney?

would she flip like michael?

i walked to the door and opened it,  letting myself out.

i opened the car. i took out my lighter and cigarette. i about another one and placed it between my lips.

i blew out. i closed my eyes and let my kind go elsewhere.

somewhere nice.

i had nowhere else to go.

i took out my phone.

23 missed phone calls from: chandler

i should go back, but first i'll call.

okay thanks for readkng
my homework is killing me so please be patient,  i still have 200 pages to read and im tireeeddd