A Knight in Pretty Shitty Armour

2. To Block or Not To Block

Above: Saoirse Ronan as one of my characters, Regan (pronounced Reegen in my head) Walker. 

Fun fact: Saoirse, being an Irish name, is pronounced as Sheershe. I only found out recently. 

Enjoy xx 

****

I came back to my dorm room at around 12 A.M., trying to be as silent as I could, hoping that the light wouldn't switch on with Regan's creepy face looking at me like I'd just committed a 100 different sins.

It had been a task to sneak into the residencies at such a time, but I'd managed by promising the night guard Lewis a treat at McDonald's.

Surprising, right? You were probably expecting to read, "I promised him sex" but Lewis, I had realised early on, was into anything but pursuing sexual affairs with students. He just said food was better. And I could agree with that.

I shuffled around in the room, cringing at every sound I made, but tonight was apparently my lucky day because Regan seemed to be soundly asleep. Usually, she would wake up within seconds and give semi accusatory glances- the only sign of emotion she showed towards me.

It seemed that I would always attract anger and hostility wherever I went. But like Maddie said, if you give away certain vibes, you get them back. Or something like that. God knows what she learned in her weird new yoga class that she took every week to tone herself back and handle the stress from the baby.

I was still in that stupid dress. It wasn't anything grand, just summery enough to not be oppressive- I had to give up my leather jacket tonight because everytime I put it on it felt like death. The weather outside was a muggy sort. I shook my hair out out of its braids and contemplated washing my face but decided against it. If the million times I'd banged my little toe (and the silent curses that followed) hadn't woken up Regan, this surely would have. I felt too lazy to change and I crashed into bed in what I was wearing. I felt tired all of a sudden.

It wasn't just the conversation and date with Knight. I had gone to a small party before I met him and I'd gotten high; this was me coming down from it. My head ached a little but it wasn't anything I hadn't handled before. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

It was annoying because I kept thinking about what Knight said. Tonight was...Revealing. About a lot of things. The things I'd told him today...I hadn't really allowed myself to think those because thinking only lead to more unnecessary feelings that only pissed me off. Yet today I was...Glad that I told someone? Even if it was my nemesis from high school hell who used to use and throw girls left right and centre and had the biggest head in the history of biggest heads. I didn't quite know what I felt about that. That I had told him, or that what he had told me made perfect sense, even though I didn't want to admit it.

But more important than that was that I had allowed him to touch my hand. Allowed or if it was just shock, I didn't know, but it was a nice gesture.

Old Cass would have hanged me right now for even thinking that and associating it with him.

Perhaps it was because he was familiar. Perhaps being so far away from Maddie and not being in contact with her, plus that I had weird people here who treated me like I was something else, had made me glad that someone I knew was simply there. There wasn't any other reason.

With that thought in my mind I counted sheep in my head and fell asleep around sheep number 100.
***
I woke up to Regan staring at me.

Not from across the bed. But right next to me, with a blank face, looking like any other ghost from a horror movie. Obviously, I screamed.