A Knight in Pretty Shitty Armour

3. Leave Me Alone

Alexander Ludwig as Alex Knight above :)

I'm watching this guy on Vikings and...just...incredible. And beautiful. I normally don't like blond guys- and I don't hate on them FYI- I just prefer the dark brooding silent guy. But this one is <3 

Enjoy!!

*****

The following two weeks were so hectic that for the first time in my life, I'd locked myself in the library till late hours, finishing all my assignments and the ones I'd gone way past the deadline for (because I was still not used to the conventional education system) but had begged my professors for a second chance. It almost felt like finals were here, but they were not. I was a serious procrastinator, as I'd had the opportunity to find out, and I now needed to fix my laziness.

I came back only late at night. Regan was almost always sleeping by the time I returned, but I didn't make any attempts to be extra quiet. She knew that I was out trying to put my academics back on track, and she couldn't really complain about it.

Between the classes and my late night dates with my study books, I'd simply forgotten about a lot of things- checking up on Maddie, being one of them. And I'd completely let partying slide, which was possibly why I got cranky easily- and I waited for this infernal week to pass by, because the first thing I would do was stake out a party and live their for a few hours, if only to drink alcohol and smoke up (God, I missed it).

In all this mayhem, I'd also completely forgotten a constant pesky interruption in my peaceful life- douchebag Alex. I hadn't talked to him, phone or text, after that night I decided not to block him, since he'd been pretty decent after I told him to basically bug off. And I didn't mind, because he wasn't priority. That is, until I got a call from him just as I was putting away my books for the night. I was almost done, maybe by tomorrow, and I would be way ahead of the deadline, so I could have plenty of time to waste.

My first thought was to reject it, or ignore it. I'd put a picture of a babboon as his display picture, and there was something unnerving about a babboon staring at you in the dark of a silent library. I decided to pick up, however, because by this time it was clear I had impulse issues and I needed an outlet. It was depressing that Alex had to be that outlet, but with Maddie being out of the picture and me basically having no friends, he would have to do.

"What do you want?" I asked, as a way of greeting.

"Good evening to you to. And nothing much. I wanted to ask you something."

My instincts rose up like a cat's fur. Funny analogy, because I've been called a cat by a lot of people. But anyway. "Are you asking me out again? Because it's a no."

"Sweet baby Jesus, do you have no patience at all? I wanted to ask if you're going to that party."

"What party?"

"Um, the one by someone called Steph? It's tomorrow. I got an invite, obviously, and it's near your campus, so..."

"So because I called out on your shitty asking out on a date tactic, you figured we could have one but in public?" I tried not to chuckle as I said it.

"What? No. I mean, it would be cool if you went, of course, but that's so not what I wanted, and- oh, you're just taking my case, aren't you?"

I had to laugh at that. It was funny. He was normally such a big headed douche, confident of every word that came out of his mouth, it warmed my dead heart to hear him like this.

"This was fun. And about going tomorrow, I'll see. I still have to finish this assignment, and if I'm done I'll give you a heads up. Does that work for you?"

The moment I said this, I wanted to take it back. No, not about the party, because that was clearly what I definitely wanted, but the way I agreed, as if we were friends working round each other's schedule and catching up after a long time. I thought of a way to make it seem less welcoming but until then Alex was already speaking, and he thankfully didn't comment on my more human response to him than usual.

"Oh yeah, that would be cool! Hope to see you soon!" Click.

I stared at my phone. Good god, what was happening to me? It was like ever since Maddie said those words about giving second chances, they had managed to worm themselves into my subconscious. I couldn't let that happen. Not with the history between us. It was well known that Alex was extremely good at charming anyone, and I couldn't let myself be a victim of that. He was not my friend, not by a long shot. Resolving this in my head, I packed up and left the building, entering my room with the noise I usually did. However, tonight Regan was awake, working on an assignment. She barely gave me a glance before going back to it, and I got ready for bed. Thoughts about whether I should no or yes to the party went through my head, and finally I just decided to think on it tomorrow. I knew about it, and it wasn't far away. I could go whenever I pleased. Once I thought that, I went to sleep.

I woke up the next day with a heavy head and even heavier bags under my eyes- smudged with kohl because I hadn't bothered to wash my face, obviously. I only knew I looked terrible because Regan gave me a disgusted look when she looked at me- meaning I probably looked like a racoon with my hair all over the place and dark eyes. I tried not to make a face back. It was true that I had no nighttime routine, not like she did- combing her hair thoroughly, wearing a nightsuit, an eye mask and God knew what else. Whether or not she was judging me wasn't the concern, because I would have also made a face if I had to look at this face of mine.

I stretched and sent a silent prayer to whatever force kept the universe working that it was Friday at last, and I could finally get out of that stupid library. Just a couple of classes and then my last assignment, and I was done for the week. The very thought made me so delirious with joy I actually skipped down to the mess hall.

As I ate my breakfast I thought about how much I'd... Well, changed, I suppose. I'd graduated from school with passable grades and I'd managed to get into a decent psych course at a decent college- and the professors were brilliant. I'd had to give some of my time to academics, something I hadn't done for a really long time. It felt strange, and yet, I'd come to like it too. The topics I had to study were fascinating. I know I complained about studying, but who didn't? It made it bearable.

And it wasn't just academics. A few months ago, if someone had suggested to me that I would be talking to Knight more than Maddie, I would have laughed. Then I would have punched them for suggesting something like that. But it was different now. Suddenly Maddie was difficult to get hold off, not that I complained because she had really valid reasons- and Alex seemed to be available all the time​. I still couldn't decide whether I liked that or not. It was in a constant conflict with most of my perceptions about him, formed carefully over the years. It made me nervous that a few meetings was changing that perception, perhaps making me weaker. Maybe.

Sighing in frustration, I went and attended my classes. As usual I sat at the back, but unlike a lot of backbenchers I paid attention. I thankfully didn't get any tough assignments over the weekend, which meant I could enjoy my Friday and Saturday night. The moment that thought formed in my head, I decided to go to that party. I needed that outlet. My fingers hovered over my keyboard wondering if I should give the heads up after what I decided last night, and then I thought, fuck it. If he was a douche, I would leave him. That easy.

The reply was fast- "yay!". I rolled my eyes at it, then shut my phone and went back to my dorm. I decided to go for simple- the temperature was nice, not too hot nor cold. A black tank top, jeans, my jacket and boots. I framed my eyes with black- outlining the blue- shook out my hair and applied gloss. Before anyone gets the idea that the gloss was indicative of something, no. I always put on gloss. My lips cracked easily, and no one likes cracked lips- easier to tear off with your teeth, which leads to bloody lips and that whole nonsense.

Regan was entering as I was leaving. She gave me a look over, shook her head and went to her bed.

I didn't like that. "What?"

She looked up. "What, what?"

"You looked at me funny."

"No, I looked at you as I do. I figured out you were going to a party." She shrugged. I couldn't continue because I guess it was obvious.

Then I did something weird, for me anyway. I hesitated around the door, contemplating my decision and I went with the fuck it route again.

'Do you want to come with?" I asked.

Regan looked up. Her face was blank as always but...There was some emotion, I could feel it. Perhaps no one had asked her before, because like me, people must have thought she was weird. Why I asked surprised even me.

"Um, come with you where?" She asked, her statement carefully constructed.

"Uh, this party I'm going to. By some person called Steph? I don't know him/her, in case you're wondering, but a party is cool, so..." I trailed off. I already knew what her answer would be.

"Um, no, but thanks for offering. I have stuff to do." She gave the barest of smiles, before going back to her work. I shut the door and walked out. The air was cool, and I was glad I wore the jacket.

It was strange to actually care enough to ask. But I had and somehow, even knowing what she was going to say didn't really make it awkward. I realised I'd maybe wanted to know who Regan was. It was minute and so different from who I usually was, but I did. What I found out today- Regan was a huge introvert (uh, duh, you say).