meeting ➢ otayuri (2)

7 - Thoughts

* mentions of abuse *

Yuri sits at his desk, running a hand through his silky locks. He puts his head in his hands, thoughts of the previous day polluting his mind.

He had seen Otabek with JJ. The boy who abused him both physically and mentally, shattering his self esteem with a string of violent actions.

Yuri sniffles and doesn't bother to wipe away his tears. His eyes are red and puffy, purple veins visible through his pale eyelids.

Didn't Otabek realize who he was speaking to? Yuri and Otabek had spoken about JJ before, maybe not in detail, but in a negative light. Did Otabek really want to give the malicious boy a second chance?

The sobbing boy wails, burying his head in his sleeved arms. He must look like a mess, he feels like a mess.

As much as Yuri denies it, one thought contaminates the back of his mind. It contagiously spreads throughout his brain, manipulating his positive thoughts into doubt.

What if Otabek leaves him for JJ?

Yuri lets out a cry at the thought. He wants to believe the love of his life will never leave him, but he knows he cannot fathom such a possibility.

He takes a deep breath. He thinks of all the reasons the raven haired duo could be just friends. He tries to push his doubts and worries away but sorrow files into its place.

Yuri glances to his phone, taking a shaky breath. He could call Otabek... he could make sure him and JJ were nothing serious.

As much as he wants to, he doesn't dare want Otabek to witness this dark and ugly side of him. That's how everything with JJ went down hill.

From the start of their relationship, Yuri and JJ were happy. They were the perfect, ethereal couple that made others smile to look at. But after months of dating, Yuri fell into a deep depression after his grandfather's death.

Instead of being there for him, JJ screamed at his lover for being so vulnerable and weak. In his mind, Yuri had to be perfect. He could not cry, he could not frown, and he could not leave.

JJ became overly protective, constantly needing to know Yuri's location. It was as if he was on the verge of madness, always with bloodshot eyes and curled cruel lips.

Hurtful words led to screams. Screams led to slaps. Slaps led to punches, and punches led to broken bones.

There was one occasion where Yuri thought he wouldn't make it. He thought he would die. Everything had hurt so bad he wanted to fall into the grave created by his twisted lover.

Yuri whimpers as the memories flood his head. What if Otabek becomes like JJ? He doesn't want to spiral into the abyss of hopelessness and hiraeth for a second time.

Taking hiccupy, shaky breaths, Yuri clicks on his phone. He looks at his wallpaper, a picture of him and Otabek skating.

He laughs dryly at the image, though his tone holds no humor. He turns off his device, not wanting to see the heartaching picture.

The sad boy weeps. He is completely, and utterly, alone.

🍃🌻🍃

an update not in the middle of the night? whAaatTtTt

thanks for all the hopeful wishes about the hurricane too. All is well for now (:

-a