just a dream | simanda ✔

chapter three: the news

Month five

Amanda saw the letter in her mailbox of the apartment building's mailroom. It was addressed to her from Chris. He had been sending letters and Amanda would receive them about two weeks after he sent them out.

Chris hadn't sent a letter in three weeks. This was the first letter from him that Amanda had received in that time.

She couldn't help but think of the news article that was on the database search when her student had looked up Syria and had conflict as a key word.

103 Men and Women Military Members Dead or Injured

Amanda had prayed that Chris wasn't one of those men and women that were killed or injured everyday because of the Syrian conflict.

Amanda walked back up to her apartment. Chris was everywhere in it. Amanda could still imagine him sprawled out on the couch and watching a televison show or cooking something in the tiny kitchen of the apartment.

She sat down at the small kitchen table in the living room. There was no actual dining room in the apartment and it was all open concept so the couch behind the table separated the kitchen from the living room.

Everything in her apartment was reminding her of Chris. His favourite tea mug was sitting on the table in front of Amanda. She picked it up as she put the letter down on the table. Amanda carried the mug to the sink and she put it in.

She was stalling from reading his letter, trying to distract herself if the letter contained bad news. The letter could contain bad news but Amanda wouldn't know unless she opened the envelope.

Amanda turned the faucet on for the sink and squeezed soap from the soap bottle into the dirty mug. She had used the mug for her coffee this morning. Amanda just needed something of Chris because of the ache from missing him was starting to become too much for her.

She let some of the warm water from the faucet run into the mug and she began to rub the dish soap around the inside of the mug. The line from her coffee that she hadn't drank started to wipe away as Amanda continued to wipe the inside of the mug clean.

Amanda dumped the dirty water out of the mug and started to fill the mug with clean water and dumped that out several times until the mug had clear water in it. She returned the mug to the cupboard it belonged in and sat down at the kitchen table.

There was a pile of papers she had to grade before the last week of school came up and it was the research projects the students had been working on. Amanda pushed the pile of papers that she had to grade to the side and picked up the letter from Chris again.

Amanda hands shook as she attempted to rip open the letter. It was almost impossible because of her nerves. Chris could be writing that he had to stay longer in Syria or it was the letter he said that he would have a friend send to Amanda if Chris died in combat.

She prayed that it wasn't the letter that Chris was sending to her to tell her that he was dead from something.

Amanda pulled the paper out of the envelope, unfolded it and read it.

Dear Amanda,

If you're reading this letter that I've sent to you,  I've passed away and I'm over the rainbow bridge as you would say. I've asked a friend to send you this letter in my name and make sure that you get it.

I wish that we could've had a child together and you could show them this letter and say that Daddy died halfway across the world from either injuries sustained in combat or I died in combat. If you were pregnant, I would want you to to tell our child when they were old enough to know that I have passed away and that I love them so incredibly much.

Amanda, I want you to know that I love you so much that words can't express how much love I feel for for you. I want you to know that I still think that you're beautiful and I want you to find someone else and love them with as much love that you had for me. Don't be afraid to fall in love with somebody. I promise that I won't get jealous of him.

Amanda, I think of you before I go into combat and think of how lucky I am to have you in my life. If I do die, I am going to make sure that you are my last thought before I pass away. If you're reading this letter that I've sent to you, that means I've passed away from either injuries sustained in combat or from combat. I want you to know that I would be home but I will not be if you're getting this.

Amanda, I love you so much.

Love,

Chris

Chris was dead. Gone.

Amanda could feel tears running down her face as she read the final letter that he sent her. He had said that he didn't want to send the letter but he would if he died. This confirmed what Amanda had been thinking and praying what didn't happen when she had opened the letter.

Amanda didn't know how he died but he was now gone forever. Over the rainbow bridge as she would've said like he had said in his letter.

His body would come back to England and there would be a funeral for him. Amanda's relationship would officially end with the funeral.

Amanda let the letter fall back onto the table and she cried heavily into her hands. She couldn't believe what she had just read. She didn't want to believe it. She didn't want it to be true but it sadly was.

He was gone forever.

{●}

Hello guys and so we learn Chris was one of the men and women killed in combat in that article in the last chapter. This chapter was inspired by Tim McGraw's song If You're Reading This and I was inspired to write the letter based on the song. Did you like this chapter and how do you think Amanda is going to deal with the grief?

I feel kind of sad for killing Chris off but it had to for the rest of the plot to make sense. The sequel that I'm writing for this fanfic is almost done and I'm thinking about making it a trilogy! Bye until the next chapter!