just a dream | simanda ✔

chapter five: five years later

2013

The first year without Chris was the hardest for Amanda. She found herself constantly looking for Chris everywhere and she found him nowhere. She hadn't tried to have a romantic relationship with any man. No one could provide a perfect relationship like Chris had been able too.

Amanda still missed Chris everyday but she had the summer holidays to help her get over some of the grief of his death.

There were a couple widows at the school where Amanda worked who were parents and one of them was a fellow teacher that was Amanda's close friend.

Alesha Dixon, the fellow teacher, had been there for Amanda right away when Amanda told her that Chris had died because she knew what it was like to lose a significant other. She had been through the same thing a few years back, a couple of years before she had become a teacher.

Amanda's relationship with Alesha was purely platonic as Amanda didn't like girls though it was clear Alesha went for them. It just wasn't a romantic relationship between them. It was strictly platonic and it was nice that way.

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2014

It still felt strange to Amanda when she woke up and Chris was not sleeping beside her, holding her in his arms.

It still felt odd when she went to bed and he was not cuddling her. Everything still felt odd without Chris around to Amanda and she still missed him just being around.

It was the second anniversary of the day she got the letter that Chris had written for Amanda in case he was killed in combat. This day was always the hardest for Amanda out of any of the days in the year. Last year, this day in June had been the hardest for her since she had found out by letter that Chris had been most likely killed in combat.

She hadn't fallen in love like Chris' letter had told her to do. Amanda only had one night stands instead so she could get pleasure but it couldn't compare to making love to Chris. No one could match the standards for her when it came to shagging. No one could make her cry out their name in pleasure like Chris could.

Amanda had sworn that she wouldn't fall in love and she was making sure she wasn't by having the one night stands.

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2015

The third year wasn't as bad as the first or second years for Amanda but she still missed Chris.

She had taken the engagement ring he had given her before he left and put it on to a necklace chain so she could still wear it. Amanda wore the necklace that had the ring on it everyday. She loved the necklace and it was her favourite to wear; her students did ask questions as to why Amanda was wearing a ring on a necklace everyday so she told them why she wore it.

A few students had been surprised when she told them and had hugged her at the end of the day. She had a feeling that the students told their parents that Amanda's previous boyfriend had died when they were still together as she kept getting sympathetic glares and smiles from parents even though it had been three years since she had found out he had been killed.

The necklace garnered glances towards Amanda's chest and her cleavage so because of this, Amanda used a larger chain when she replaced the necklace chain. The necklace was her way of keeping Chris on her although it had been three years without him in her life now.

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2016

Amanda still wasn't dating as she was still afraid of falling in love even though it had been four years since Chris' passing. She only had one night stands and refused to date, much to Alesha, her friend's distain.

"You're thirty four, Mandy," Alesha said as they walked into Amanda's classroom. "You need to date."

"No, I don't. I'm content with having only one night stands," Amanda replied. "I'm not going to fall in love that way."

"I am going to set you up with someone, Amanda," Alesha said, "and you're going to go on a real date next week."

"I'm on my period next week, Alesha. I refuse to go on a date while I'm on my period," Amanda replied.

"You're going on a date," Alesha retorted.

"I'm not going to fall in love with someone you set me up with, Alesha," Amanda said. "I'm too afraid that what happened with Chris will happen again."

"It won't," Alesha reassured Amanda. "I'm not saying that you have to fall in love with the guy I'm setting you up with."

"Fine; I'll go on the date," Amanda said, giving into Alesha's insistent demands that she needed to go on a real date.

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2017

The fifth year was the best for Amanda but Alesha had changed schools to work at a different one so that had changed.

"You should really come to work at my school, 'Manda. You would love it there. Everyone is really nice," Alesha tried to persuade Amanda. They were sitting at their favourite cafe, a spot which they both frequented for coffee and it was close to the school where Alesha worked and close to Amanda's school as well. It was the place where Alesha had met her girlfriend so it was special to her.

"I don't know. I like where I'm working but it reminds me of Chris still. He used to visit me after school was out," Amanda replied. "I just don't know."

"Please. I know you would love it. There's a really cute male teacher that teaches the same year I do and he's single," Alesha said, twirling the straw in her iced coffee.

"You know I'm not ready to date, Alesha. I'm not going to," Amanda responded.

"It's been five years, Amanda."

"I know. I just don't feel ready, Alesha. I'm not going to fall in love again," Amanda said.

"You're going to find someone, Amanda. It's bound to happen," Alesha insisted.

"No; it will not happen."

{●}

Hello guys! I'm swamped with school work this week but I'm publishing on schedule today. I'm not going to publish the second chapter of I'm Gonna Love You Through It because of how much school work I have. I'll publish that on Wednesday instead.

So now Amanda is 35 and still no sign of Simon turning up yet. He'll be coming up very soon and I promise that! How do you think meeting each other will go over? Please tell me if you liked this chapter and bye until next chapter!