A Woman's Path to Liberation

August 15, 1963

We were scheduled to have a group meeting at my house to talk about the Equal Pay Act that just became law in America today. All the ladies had arrived when James came in the door. He looked perplexed to see all of us gathered around the dining room table, but didn't say much. I got up and prepared him some lunch while the ladies chatted about the weather and a book that they had been reading. We hoped that he would only be staying for a little while, but when I brought him his food and asked him what he was doing home, he said that there was trouble at work. When I asked him what the trouble was, he glared at me and told me that my meeting was done. That my fun was done. He started to raise his voice and stood up to tower over me. The women gasped and I told them it was alright. They shuffled out of the house and James came at me. "You made me look like a fool!" he said, arms trembling. I didn't know what he was talking about. When I questioned as to what he was referring, his hand struck my face. "You are finished with your silly group meetings." He spat through gritted teeth and strode to the bedroom, slamming the door.

I found out later that James had lost his job. He wouldn't tell me why, but I phoned the bank and they told me there. James didn't want to pay the female employees at the bank a higher wage due to the exact reason we were meeting today. The Equal Pay Act. Being the manager of the bank, he signed payroll checks and when a check came across his desk for a woman and it was the same wage as the man's check he had just signed, he was outraged. He went into a frenzy and the bank ended up firing him to pay the increased wages of the women working there. I giggled gleefully as I held the package of frozen peas to my throbbing face.

I know that we have enough money saved to get us through the next few months, not including my hidden money. But if James can't find a job by the time I graduate in December, I will have to tell him about Mrs. Potts and the paper.

December 21, 1963

James has been out of work for 4 months. He refuses to accept a job that is "below him". As a result, we have had to pinch pennies to make it to this point. I will graduate with my degree in Journalism on the 29th and when he can no longer disrupt my plans for graduation, I will tell him about a job that I am getting a local newspaper. If he accepts it, then fine. If not. I will have to tell him the truth about the Mansfield Journal.

December 29, 1963

James did not take it well at all. I am not sure what I was expecting. For him to be proud that I could support him? Never. My face has a nasty bump on it from where he punched me. With his fist! Not just a slap this time. A full fist to the face. Multiple times. I am writing this from the clubhouse the group procured once we started to make a significant amount of money with the columns. I don't love him anymore. I haven't loved him for a while. Tomorrow I am going to march into that house, take my money and leave. I'm not sure where I'll go, but I don't want to be with James anymore.

February 1, 1964

I have been living in the clubhouse. Nobody knows yet and I don't want them to find out. I bought a car with some of the money I have been saving.

I've had correspondence with Janine and she is more than willing to let me come to New York to live with her. She says that the fight is strong where she is and that they are really making a difference. I have more than enough money to make it to Janine, but I don't know why I am still here. Something is keeping me back. Do I not want to leave with James still mad at me? Do I want a divorce? What would be the impact of that?

February 2, 1964

I met with John today to pick up the group's paycheck. We are up to 37,500 readers around Ohio. This will be my last check at 40%. I told the girls I'm leaving and appointed my successor. I also tried to give my remaining percentages to the group, but they wouldn't allow it. They feel like I will still need some sort of income as I travel and I don't want to be a burden on Janine in New York. I still retain 20% of the income from the column.

I am shaking with anticipation and fear. I am leaving Ohio for the first time in my life. Where will my feet take me?

February 3, 1964

I met with the girls for a tearful goodbye. We hugged and promised to write. I don't know how I will ever make it without their support and intellect. I went by the paper office one last time to say goodbye to John. He wasn't in his office, but as I turned to leave he came up behind me and swept me off my feet into a warm embrace. I looked into his eyes, brimming with tears and couldn't help myself. I leaned forward and kissed his lips tenderly. It was a mistake, but it felt so right. It ended just as the night so long ago had with James when we were young and in love. When we were finished, I sighed and told John I had to go. He groaned and gently pulled me back into a kiss. He let me go, and I tentatively gathered up my clothes and left. I knew if I looked back, I would never leave.

I went straight to James and told him I was leaving. He sat passively, trying to mull it over in his mind. "You're leaving?" he said. "And going where?" I felt so guilty. I told him of my plans with Janine and things started spilling out about John and the paper.

The look of pain in his eyes broke me. We cried together and he apologized for many things. I asked for his forgiveness, but did not receive it. We slept close together that night. When I awoke he was gone.