He Lies Within the Sea (eremika)

Chapter Seventeen

We had to try something, Eren told her, but Mikasa wasn't certain what they could even do. All the power of those mermaids seemed so strong, and while Mikasa herself felt strength pulsing through her veins, digging deep down into her very bones, she didn't know how to use it much- or at all. Plus, Eren was said to be "not much of anything."

She didn't like to consider him "not much of anything," however. Not having strength in the same way as another might didn't make him "not much of anything" or "weak." Strength came in all sorts of forms, and it was stupid to think he was weak in any way.

Hell, he was already strong for not freaking out about him being stuck on land, for him being banished from his very home. Who knew what was going on with his family, too? There was something about him, something at the edges of who he was, that told Mikasa that he was holding back and holding on- keeping himself sharp and aware and pushing through whatever feelings he had. He was strong in the sense that he was still trying, still persisting, despite everything.

She had almost wanted to give up, to tell him that it's all too much and to accept their fate, but he said there was something to be done, and she believed him as he said those words, as they penetrated through walls in her heart.

She risked her own self to save him, and she knew he'd wonder why about that. Sometimes, she wondered why as well. There was certainly reason for it, an inkling pecking at the back of her mind, but her thoughts were too overwhelmed with fear for her mother.

It had been a couple days now, the plan not yet solidified. Eren thought to convince the King to resolve things and to ambush Varan so her mother could come back, but he hadn't looked the King in the eyes as Mikasa had- hadn't seen how impossibly stubborn he was. There was no convincing the King of the Sea- or, at least, that portion of the sea- to do anything that he wouldn't normally do.

They could let things go as they were. They could let Mikasa's mother betray her entire family and put Varan on the throne, but that made her stomach churn. To think that someone like Varan would be ruling over a Kingdom- someone who would kidnap and manipulate to further his agenda- was unsettling. Perhaps he was a better person when her mother worked with him years ago, but even then, she doesn't know if he was. Maybe her mother was a better person now than she was before, or maybe she was the same. Mikasa didn't know anymore. She didn't know what to think.

Her stomach turned and her mind spun at the entirety of everything- at the betrayal of all. Her mother had betrayed her- lied to her and kept things from her. Sure, it was for her safety, but none of this would have happened if Mikasa had known herself. If she had known who she truly was and her origins.

 Her father knew everything, apparently. He knew every little bit of what she'd waited her whole life to hear, yet he loved her mother anyways. She tried to keep that in mind when thinking about her mother- tried to remind herself that if he, of all people, could still love her mother after all of this, then so could she.  

And Annie? They were never friends. All the laughter, the jokes, the fun times- none of them were true. Nearly an entire year of falsity made Mikasa doubt her own self, doubt her choices and everything she thought she'd known. Truly, it seemed like Eren was the only close friend- other than the few "school friends" she had. She didn't even know if she considered them close. They never saw each other outside of the school's halls- not even more than occasional texts that meant nothing.

Now, it was storming outside. Rains raged and slapped against the roof, wetting the ground outside and blurring the vision beyond her house. Thunder rumbled in the distance, shaking the air and the ground as it rolled through, striking the air with flashes of lightning that made everything eerie. It was tied together- Mikasa could sense it in her chest. This storm and her mother's doings were tied together.

Varan and Annie were wicked. Mikasa and Eren decided that together. Now, she was willing to trust him again- to believe in the words he told her a couple days ago. They had to try something, and he had finally figured another "something," although it was unpredictable if it would even work.

"Is your dad still at the lighthouse?" Eren asked. Because of the storm, he had to be there, shining the light for boats and everything, keeping watch on the place. Mikasa partly believed it was because he knew his wife was out there- that her mother was in the sea and this storm was tied to her. The lighthouse was perhaps the closest he could be to her right now, and she decided to let him live as that.

"Yeah," she said with a slight nod, shifting on the edge of her bed. They were in her room. She was on the bed and he was at the desk, the window between them splattered with raindrops, the sound loud but muffled at the edge of their hearing. It was like background noise, like nothing important, but the storm meant a lot more than what people might typically expect.

Right now, they weren't doing it. They weren't going into the sea to enact their foolish and mostly improvised plan.

At least, not yet.

There was probably chaos right now. Varan on the throne was a bad idea, assuming things went well for them. Mikasa figured one thing by looking into the King's eyes: he wouldn't kill his own daughter. He could have done it countless times, but he wanted to lock Mikasa away, and he had only banished or punished her before. Never killed her or physically harmed her as much as he could have. She suspected it was the whisper of her mother- Mikasa's grandmother- in his ear that kept him from doing so.

She trusted that the woman could try and do it again. If Varan were to fail, she suspected her mother would be "locked away forever." If Varan were to succeed, then he would be King, and she suspected her mother would still be a prisoner in his hands. It was not a good situation for her mother at all- or the sea, if Varan were to win the fight. The King was an asshole, but Eren said things were handled well in his power, that he wasn't much of a tyrant but rather a controlling asshole who knew how to control things properly.

The plan was to go after the chaos- to let it happen- and to figure things out from there. If the King was still on the throne, it would take quiet movements and convincing the Queen of helping them. Mikasa believed she could work with her grandmother on that.

If Varan was on the throne, it would mean they had to dethrone him, but- Mikasa didn't know how she felt about that. There was a way to trap him forever, perhaps, but there would always be someone to save him. It would require killing him, taking his life, and that made her uneasy.

"I'm not sure about this," Eren declared, standing up and staring out at the sea through Mikasa's window, watching the rain pour down.

"I know," Mikasa muttered. "Killing someone is-"

"No," Eren interrupted. "I mean- the King rules things well. If Varan were to take over, it would be a rocky change, but if he were to die immediately after he's made King, that would only make for chaos and- there would be nobody to rule. Nobody with power or respect. In history classes, that only leads to periods of violence. My family still lives-"

"Use the heir, then," Mikasa said.

"You think Varan wouldn't kill him?"

"He'd be too distracted fighting the King, wouldn't he? The heir could escape-"

"He has more than himself and your mother. The heir wouldn't escape. The only way we can do this-" He took a deep breath in, shaking his head. "We're too young for this."

"But- we have to try, don't we?"

"We can't wait until it's over," Eren declared. "We have to move now."

Rain poured hard as Mikasa stared at him, words not coming to her. Her lips were closed, her eyes blinking at him, and her heart beating fast in her chest. He was right. If they took out the leader without further plans, it would only make things worse for his home and things right for her up on the land. Perhaps not, though. Chaos could even drive more mermaids to the land, making the fishermen who hunted them a problem more than they could expect.

He was right. They had to go before it ended.

"Alright," she said. "We'll leave before this storm ends."

He nodded, but there were no smiles about this. "Alright."

Note: Thanks for reading this far! I managed to finish before August ended, and I'm still working on this story. I'll see you next month, hopefully! Probably the end of the month, if I'm going to be honest.