pins and Needles

why??

I was too weak to walk so he carried me, how can some one who doesn't know me be so kind I haven't known such thing my whole life and this act of kindness I don't deserve I should be on the street begging for money like the scum I am. I feel lifeless but yet I'm cursed to still walk the earth like there is a purpose for me.

"What are u thinking about" a low toned voice said softly

"How I don't deserve to be shown kindness because of the scum I am"
His jaw dropped and he gave me the look that said shut the f up I was scared by his look and went into self defence.

"I'm sorry I'm not gonna hurt you I promise"
That's what he used to say when I was young before I had any clue of what his intentions were. I can't help but fear that there is no hope to the life God gave me, That I don't need to be alive.

I asked where the bathroom was and he showed me, it didn't have a lock but I know he wouldn't come in unless I didn't come out. I walked over to the cabinet and saw a razor and took it I didn't cry cause I thought I deserved it started to cut my wrists but then I noticed that it wasn't doing anything, I brought the razor up to my eyes and back down to my neck I ran it over my neck once.

"Ahhhh" I screamed in agony as the blade slit my neck.

Suddenly I heard the door swing open and he came in I smiled at him and he started to cry I shut my eyes and my last words were...

"Goodbye word" I said barely a whisper.